Boozy Butchery

In Germany, it seems, alcohol and amateur amputations go hand in hand. Example eins: A sauced 26-year-old man bit off his girlfriend's nose. Amazingly, the judge who sentenced the man to 18 months in jail for the assault said the biter's 50-year-old victim still loved her paramour. "He was just drunk," the judge said by way of explanation. Und zwei: A vodka-swilling German sex addict sliced off his own penis in a misguided attempt to cure his mental malady. "The man called a friend around 8 o'clock to say he'd done something stupid," police said in a statement. We'll drink to that. Prost (if you dare)!