Silence falls. Tom Dickson opens The Total Blender, unleashing a fine coil of white vapor. He says, "This is glass dust, don't breathe this."
Tom is clearly not a man one should accept banana and ice cream slushies from.
Suffice to say, this device is one serious grinder, laying waste to aluminium cans, glass marbles and human skulls alike. A "don't try this at home" sticker glares from the official website. It links to a video page demonstrating its Achaean strength, the http GET variable type=unsafe tucked quietly into the URI. This page then asks, and answers, such existential stumpers as "Is the Total Blender up to the challenge of blending a rake handle?"
$400, and all this is yours. Don't forget to suggest something to blend for their next terrifying video.
Total Blender (Black) Product Page [Blendtec.com Via Willitblend.com]
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