• Hollywood sure is mangling a lot of books lately. First off, a version of I Am Legend starring Will Smith, with the central plot point being rather eyebrow raising: vampirism is like having AIDS. Meanwhile, HBO has picked up the rights to George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series and picks up about a million uninteresting characters along with the half dozen good ones. Of course, there's some classics Hollywood just can't manage to mangle.
• Here at Table of Malcontents, we are very concerned about where you put your semen. Hence, Lisa's report on Hong Kong's musical condoms. On the other hand, I say forget the condoms, and why not join me in communally ejaculating into the Spermcube.
• An army of nightmarish dolls: impossibly large breasts! Morbid porcelain! Creepy ceramics!
• Gandhi Mania! Lisa wonders who was more charismatic: Gandhi, Ben Kingsley pretending to be Gandhi, or Gandhi pretending to be Ben Kingsley pretending to be Gandhi. Meanwhile, all I care about is that homeboy sure can homoerotically poledance.
• Many subliminal odes to Rita Hayworth inundated our posts last week. Can you find them?
