The myth of the vagina dentata (Latin for a snatch with a catch), pervades history. Psychologists describe the toothed twat as the classic symbol of a man’s subconscious fear that a woman has the power to cut off his prick. Which, of course she does, as evidenced by our dear Lorena Bobbitt who severed hubby John’s johnson in part because he failed to satisfy.
Mitchell Lichtenstein (famed pop artist Roy’s son and a seasoned actor) learned of the myth in a lit class taught by cultural zeitgeist Camille Paglia. Mitchell quickly became obsessed and, over a series of years, wrote and rewrote a modern rev on the aged vagina tale. Now, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, Lichtenstein makes his feature directorial debut with Teeth, a coming-of-age flick about a high-school chastity group leader who discovers the beauty and the bite inside her bod.
There are some great moments of self-discovery here that the gals will surely appreciate, if not identify with. Witness Dawn (Jess Weixler), sequestered in the bathroom, analyzing an anatomical diagram of a vagina in hopes of learning just what is going on “down there.” Then ride along for her first gynecologist appointment. In one of the film’s most hilarious scenes, the doctor’s hand gets munched while examining Dawn’s muff. When he finally breaks free, four of his severed fingers fall to the ground, and he screams, “Vagina dentata! Vagina dentata!”
How did Dawn get like this? Well, putting together the film’s clues, one explanation is that she was somehow mutated by a radiation leak at the local nuke plant. The two cooling towers which overshadow Dawn's suburban hometown get so much onscreen airtime, Lichtenstein almost treats them as characters in the movie. They must signify something, right? Or perhaps, Dawn’s uniquely fitted nether-region is merely a physical adaptation, an evolutionary trait enabling her to overcome the repression of a male-dominated world.
Some in the press have pegged Teeth as just another gory, B-rated horror flick. While I admit, there are rivers of squirting blood, cheesy one-liners, and quite a few flying penis parts – I think the film plays more as an atomic-age science fiction. Think of it as a mix of Superman and Scream, with a side of Mothra (Could it be my judgment was affected by the quickie references to The Gorgon and The Black Scorpian?). To me, Dawn’s a modern day superhero, biting the penis off any baddie in her path. You go girl!
