I Love The Smell Of Rotting Hog Flesh In The Morning

Meet the Wake 'N' Bacon. Yes, this porcine or even pork-pine alarm clock is adorable. Yet less adorable is its method of jerking you out of your slumber: the smell of a piece of rotting meat hacked from the flank of a feces-eating hog.

A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n' Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.

For extra alarm power, of course, simply leave the bacon around for a few weeks until it is green, greasy and covered in squirming larva. Or simply replace the bacon with a more potent smelling obstacle: perhaps a bucket of horse offal.

I also like this quote on the official site: "No one likes to wake up, especially by an alarm." You know, given the alternative of not waking up at all, I'd be happy to be aroused from slumberland every morning by a hammer-wielding maniac enthusiastically attacking my own little piggies.

Wake 'N' Bacon [Official Site]