Needless to say, we're all cephalophiles at heart. It is only the sextuple tentacles of the squid or octopus that can squeeze from our souls the post-modern ennui of our dreary lives. The superintelligent cephalopod represents the best that life has to offer, ultimate goodness: in the in-house religion of ToM, it is a mystical entity of Peace and Love fighting a timeless battle for the souls of humanity agains Death's omnivorous avatar, the Vagina Dentata. We love squids and octopii. If only they weren't so disgusting to touch.
Adopt-A-Squid is a charitable project aiming to give cephalophiles an adorable, huggable giant squid. Each squid is one of a kind, with a name and personality. Better yet, part of the proceeds go to the Red Cross to help tsunami victims. Unfortunately, these squids are monstrously expensive: from between $400 - $800 each. Jeez. Couldn't I just buy a tsunami victim for that?
As such, Adopt-A-Squid isn't really a very good charitable endeavor for anyone besides cephalopod plushy enthusiasts. For $800, you could buy a live squid and roll its gasping body in a pile of fuzz for cheaper effect.
Now a charity for buying a tsunami victim a squid, in a scheme something like The Heifer Project? I could get on board with that. Of course -- after seeing many of their loved ones devoured by cephalopods that rolled into their tropical isle on the crest of tidal waves -- a squid is probably the last thing most tsunami victims actually want.
Adopt A Squid [Official Site]
