Grindhouse To Be Greatest Movie In The History Of The World

In an otherwise gossipy article about the rating woes waiting ahead for Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's upcoming ultra-violent homage to 70's sex and splatter films, Page Six managed to somehow put together a mathematical proof that Grindhouse is going to be the greatest movie ever made.

Consider the formula...

"In one scene, a cute, topless girl is roughly tied down on a table by evil female Nazi experimenters who begin draining her blood and, as she screams in agony, they brand her like livestock with a coal-hot steel swastika," our source said. "And every girl in the Nazi concentration camp is topless."

"There's a part where Jordan Ladd [daughter of Cheryl Ladd of 'Charlie's Angels'] is in a car with her boyfriend and giving him [oral sex] when she lovingly reaches to stroke his hair and discovers his neck is just a bloody stump - some maniac had just cut off his head while she was in the act."

X

Later, a frisky cheerleader climbs onto a trampoline and begins stripping naked as she jumps up and down until she does a split and her skirt blows up without panties underneath

Another jolting scene shows a grossly obese man chewing on a baby.

= GREATEST MOVIE EVER.

Rating Woes for Grindhouse [New York Post]