John Brownlee

Who Killed Firefly? Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Of Course

Finally! The invasion of Iraq, an open-minded approach to torture and the cavalier suspension of habeus corpus has paid off! We finally have an air-tight confession from a leading figure in Saddam Hussein’s regime to one of the most dastardly acts of terrorism of the century: According to his signed confession released this past week, […]

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Finally! The invasion of Iraq, an open-minded approach to torture and the cavalier suspension of habeus corpus has paid off! We finally have an air-tight confession from a leading figure in Saddam Hussein's regime to one of the most dastardly acts of terrorism of the century:

According to his signed confession released this past week, purported 9/11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed has admitted to a great number of heinous crimes in the name of Al Qaeda including hijackings, bombings, and murders. Most shocking was the admission that Mohammed had infiltrated the American media by becoming a high-ranking executive for Fox Television and was directly responsible for the devastating 2002 cancellation of Joss Whedon's Firefly after just a few episodes. Fox Television, sister company to Fox News Channel, has vehemently denied ever employing the infamous terrorist, but anonymous sources at the network report seeing his name on a variety of emails and memos during that period.

"I never saw him," says our source, "but I have to admit I liked the guy. He was so ruthless, so affably callous, that he fit right in."

Anyone still trying to make the claim there were no links between Iraq and organized terrorism? I thought not.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Admits to Canceling Firefly, Expresses Regret [Ridiculopathy]