Batman's Sage Advice

Batman sure had a pithy life lesson for every occasion, didn't he?

Robin: "Where'd you get a live fish, Batman?"

Batman: "The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin."

Robin: "Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!"

Batman: "True. You owe your life to dental hygiene."

Bruce: "Yes, Dick, your bird calls are close to perfect. If more people practiced them, someday we might have a chance for real communication with our feathered friends."

Dick: "In that case I think I'll polish up my ruby-crowned kinglet and my rose-breasted yellow-tailed grouse-beak calls."

Bruce: "Just because we're traveling, I don't think that Dick should neglect his studies, so we brought along one thousand key works of literature, his biological specimens, and also his own desk."

Dick: "Yes, I expect to study hard."

Batman: "You're far from mod, Robin. And many hippies are older than you are."

And Batman on every teenage boy's favorite rite of passage... that of molesting a sleeping girl:

Robin, looking at Batgirl: "You know something, Batman?"

Batman: "What's that, Robin?"

Robin: "She looks very pretty when she's asleep."

Batman: "I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum.

Batman Lecturing Robin [Tripod] (via Cynical-C)