If I were a Spider-Man...

Today the New York Times confirms rumors swirling (they always "swirl," don't they?) around the nerdy corners of the Web: There will be a Broadway musical about Spider-Man.

The adventures of Spider-Man have graced comic books, cartoons and live-action films. Now Peter Parker's tale of great power and great responsibility is being developed for the Great White Way.

Days after a casting agent's description of roles was picked up by a Web site devoted to comic book news, Marvel Studios confirmed plans for the musical, which will be directed by Julie Taymor and have music and lyrics provided by Bono and the Edge of the band U2.

The statement from Marvel indicated that a reading would take place this summer. There is no confirmed date for a Broadway opening.

Julie Taymor, of course, famously directed the Broadway version of The Lion King, so special effects won't be any problem.

I'm wracking my brains to see if I can figure out any way this might not be bad. But it's not working. Apparently the zillions of dollars earned by the Spider-Man movies have caused Broadway to spontaneously develop amnesia over the flop that was "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman!"

Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it: