People, it is time to put on your pink warm-up suit and jog over to the Wii and purchase Punch-Out!! I swear to God if I hear one of you complain that it's not the one starring Mike Tyson I will punch you in the stomach. And shout "body blow!" when I do it.
Punch-Out!! is one of the best video games ever made. It's not a boxing game: it's more of a puzzle/twitch/comedy/endurance adventure. It's also an inspirational narrative starring a young boy whose head is one-fourth the size of his opponents' fists. He has cancer, which causes him to turn purple when he runs out of energy. His request to the Make-a-Wish Foundation was to fight Mike Tyson; unfortunately Mike Tyson was in jail so he has to fight Mr. Dream (shown right).
Also on deck today are two of the not-best video games ever made, Virtua Fighter 2 for Genesis and Bonk's Revenge for TurboGrafx. Fingers crossed for Actraiser next week. Did you know the Australians already have Actraiser? Australians. Like they even know what that is. Pearls before swine, I tell you.
April 16, 2007
Wii-kly Update: Three New Classic Games Announced for Wii Shop Channel
Three classic games from three classic systems. The only problem you'll
have this week is deciding which one to download first. For the best retro
gaming around, it's time to pay a visit to the popular Wii(TM) video game
system's Wii Shop Channel.
Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new
games to the channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet
connection can redeem Wii Points(TM) to download the games. Wii Points can be
purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games
are:
Punch Out!!(R) Featuring Mr. Dream (NES(R), 1 player, 500 Wii Points): As
young boxer Little Mac, players have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to battle the
big guys of the World Video Boxing Association circuit. Take them on one by
one, starting with skinny Glass Joe. Battle up through King Hippo and all the
way to the WVBA Champion himself. Players use their best jabs, hooks and
power uppercuts to knock out opponents, but must pay attention to subtle
changes in their body position to dodge jaw-breaking blows. With great
graphics, addictive action and a touch of humor, this game will keep players
entertained for hours.
Virtua Fighter(TM) 2 (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Virtua
Fighter was the very first 3-D fighting game in the industry and introduced
six unique characters, each with their own martial arts style. In Virtua
Fighter 2, the intrepid fighters return to the World Fighting Tournament.
Players take to the stage to see who will claim the championship title. Will
it be Lau Chan, Kage-Maru, Wolf Hawkfield, Jeffry McWild, Akira Yuki, Jacky
Bryant, Sarah Bryant or Pai Chan? The answer lies within. Players immerse
themselves in this technically challenging game and see if they have what it
takes to be the champion of the second World Fighting Tournament.
Bonk's Revenge (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): The "hardheaded"
hero is back for more in the second installment of the Bonk series. Taking
place in the Monster Kingdom, Bonk the Caveman makes his way toward King Drool
III. Bonk's Revenge is a side-scrolling action game in which players Jump and
"Bonk" (head-butt) their enemies while they make their way to the goal at the
end of each stage. Double, even triple, attack power by eating the meat that
appears in a stage. There are eight different hidden bonus stages, and the
Dinosaur Train that appears after players defeat a boss will change depending
on how many Smileys they've collected. With new actions such as the Triangle
Jump and the ability to climb trees, as well as seven variety-packed stages,
Bonk's Revenge will keep players playing over and over.
