After a brief flirtation with acceptability, Virtual Console is back in its usual mediocre rut. Fantastic games like Punch-Out languish unloved in second-rate countries such as Japan and Europe, while America has to make do with Galaga, Bravoman, and Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle.
I'm not even really sure what Bravoman is, but I'm too depressed about this to want to download it. (I'm alternating between crying and cutting myself and punching the neighbor's cat in the face.)
What does it mean when not even the resurrected Jesus The Christ can save Virtual Console? These are the questions that destroy a small part of my soul every Monday.
Wii-kly Update: Three New Classic Games Announced for Wii Shop Channel
Do you have an itch to blast bug-shaped space fighters? Have you ever
wondered whether Dr. Bomb was a medical doctor or a Ph.D.? Do you resolve all
your disputes with a heated round of Rock, Paper, Scissors? If you answered
yes to any of these questions, you'll want to pay a visit to the popular
Wii(TM) video game system's Wii Shop Channel.
Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new
games to the channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet
connection can redeem Wii Points(TM) to download the games. Wii Points can be
purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games
are:
Galaga(TM) (NES(R), 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): Players control their
fighters, with their unique ability to combine with other fighters and shoot
down the invading aliens. Aliens attack in formations using a variety of
attack patterns. Rescue a captured fighter to combine with it, forming a Dual
Fighter with twice the firepower. Earn Perfect Bonuses more easily by using a
Dual Fighter on the Challenging Stages. Galaga was released in 1981 and
became an instant classic with its innovative fighter-combination system and
varied enemy attack patterns.
BRAVOMAN(TM) (Turbografx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): The village of
Nitta has been invaded by the army of Dr. Bomb, an evil scientist who is
plotting to take over the world. Facing this crisis is Bravoman, who received
his powers from Alpha Man to stand up against Dr. Bomb in the name of justice.
The village of Nitta consists of 22 stages -- action stages that take place on
the ground and shooting stages that take place underwater. Action stages use
a unique control system in which the height of a jump and the distance of an
attack changes depending on how long players hold down the button. Players
collect the Luck Symbols that appear when they defeat enemies and give them to
Lottery Man to get recovery and power-up items. Stop Dr. Bomb and bring peace
to the village of Nitta and the rest of the world.
Alex Kidd(TM) in the Enchanted Castle (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii
Points): When King Thor was kidnapped, his son, Alex Kidd, held out hope that
his father would return to their kingdom on Planet Aries. Finally, it was
revealed that he was being held captive on Planet Paperock. As Alex, players
race to his rescue through 11 levels, battling enemies and avoiding obstacles
while winning coins that will buy special items and vehicles. At the end of
each level, players encounter a boss and enter into a match of "Rock, Paper,
Scissors." Throwing the right symbols puts players ever closer to bringing
King Thor home; throwing the wrong symbols squashes them beneath a heavy
weight.
