Microsoft Acquires aQuantive For $6 billion

Today, Microsoft decided to make all other recent advertising firm acquisitions look positively Lilliputian by snapping up aQuantive for $6 billion—in cash baby! Rubbing his massive belly while smoking a massive stogy (cinematic license disclaimer), Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said:

“Today’s announcement represents the next step in the evolution of our ad network from our initial investment in MSN, to the broader Microsoft network including Xbox Live, Windows Live and Office Live, and now to the full capacity of the Internet. Microsoft is intensely committed to creating a thriving advertising business and to partnering closely with all key constituencies in this industry to help maximize the digital advertising opportunity for all.”

Apparently the whole “Google is creating an ad monopoly” ploy was a short-lived ruse that Microsoft realized was a hard sell given its own monopolistic history. Google may be the most popular brand on the planet, but Microsoft is still the best at making sweeping sledgehammer moves like this. Perhaps now the continued chatter about Microsoft acquiring Yahoo will finally die down.

*Crazy Talk: Although probably not directly connected in any specific way, in terms of story arc, I absolutely knew that the odd appearance of former Razorfish (now a unit of aQuantive) head Jeff Dachis (the poster boy of the Web 1.0 bubble) on Jason
Calacanis’ video show last week had to mean something. Why now? Why him? Now his popping up last week feels a bit more symmetrical in some strange “tale of Internet business history” way.