Nothing says lethal and overwhelming firepower quite like a shredding speed metal guitarist. At least, that appears to be the assumption behind the soundtracks of most defense industry promotional vids.
But military contracting juggernaut BAE Systems made a different choice for this recruiting film. Instead of Slayer or Pantera’s sonic assaults, the company turned to the warbling voice of Freddie Mercury, and Queen’s lite, Broadway-inspired camp. The juxtaposition of killing machines with the sunshine-dappled, oh-so-gentle tones of Queen’s "Don’t Stop Me Now" is what makes this clip perfect for the Iron Eagles — our celebration of the awesomely bad videos of the military-industrial complex. Next up: the Village People sing "In the Navy," for Northrop Grumman’s new destroyers.
The dissonance between the Queen audio and the fighter jet visuals may not be the oddest thing about the flick, however. It’s the clip’s silly, silly habit of pairing Mercury’s lyrics to every video frame — like a grammar school dancer, pointing to her eye, every time her song uses the first person singular. Jets go "burning through the sky." Laser pointers flash "at the speed of light." An operator picks up the phone when Freddie asks to "give me a call." Alas, no nekkid ladies are presented for Mercury’s "Lady Godiva." Maybe in BAE’s next promotional clip.
BTW: The reactions stirred up by our last Iron Eagle nominee — Israeli arms-maker Rafael’s ode to Bollywood — might be almost as funny as the video itself. "This is the sort of media I think we can all agree that death dealers should be producing," Boing Boing’s Joel Johnson writes. "I award it a special bonus prize, the ‘Breakdancing Kali.’" Blackfive, citing the many charms of the clips’ dancers, concurs — and labels it the "Greatest Armaments Music Video Ever."
Both the New York Times’ website and the Jerusalem Post passed along our feelings that the Rafael clip was "the most atrocious defense video of all time." Which did not exactly thrill the company. "Rafael dismissed the criticism of its film and said that it made movies with a local theme for every international defense expo," according to the Post. "A movie, one company source said, made for a defense expo in Brazil focused on soccer and weapons. Another movie, for a U.S. audience, focused on football."
[Rock on: AS]
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