*Okay, certain sissies are complaining that this Russian bodice-ripper about Cossacks
has got way too much violent ethnic slaughter in it. What the hell do those people think
Cossacks were about? They were the freakin' Cossacks, they weren't Stay-Puff
the pleather-wearing Marshmallow Man.
*You know what would be awesome? A Tamerlane movie where a peaceful
town is slaughtered to the last man, and the heads of the citizenry are
stacked in pyramids – *in one take.* Like movies are gonna outdo the
historical truth somehow?
*I'd see this movie in a minute. In fact I'm kinda *eager* to see it. I'm
smelling a cult classic here, it's like "Mythbusters rip a steel barrel to
shreds with a minigun" and then TARAS BULBA. With the Taras Bulba
drinking game. With vodka. *Pepper* vodka. HOT UKRAINIAN
HONEY PEPPER VODKA and none of your pansy shotglasses, either –
*aurochs horns* full of vodka.
