Review: As Seen On TV Smart Mop

Mops suck. They have all the maneuverability of a damp Yorkie on a stick, with a smell to match.

They're also heavy, and they're a pain to wring out. Any crumbs or dirt on the floor just get pushed around, not picked up. And to mop it all off, they soil a clean bucket of water after just a few wrings, at which point you're now scrubbing your floor with, well, dirt.

The Smart Mop, (from the As Seen on TV® people, natch) ostensibly eliminates all those hassles so you can experience the many transcendent joys of mopping. Except, no, it doesn't. It may be lighter and a bit easier on the nose than a traditional slop-mop, but smart? Um, no.

What you've got here is a pole with a hyper-absorbent towel attached to the end. (Think gray-market Shamwow.) It's fastened onto two rings and cut into loops so it spreads out on the floor, mop style. After sponging up the remains of, say, a tipped two-liter, you twist the sections of the handle in opposite directions to squeeze out the soda.

That's good in theory, but totally ineffective in practice. For starters, the cloth isn't all that absorbent. After you bucket-dunk and wring it once, it stays pretty damp. Consequently, it leaves behind trails of moisture, making previously dry spots wet. And note to girlie-men: The physical act of wringing requires more effort than the infomercials would have you believe. You have to twist the sucker almost two full revolutions to really squeeze out all the liquid.

This intelligence-challenged mop feels like cheap China-made plasti-metal, and acts like it too: After a few minutes of mopping, the plastic screw-plug at the bottom end of the contraption came loose. Five minutes after screwing it back in, it came loose again. WTF? Oh, and if you don't wiggle the Smart Mop so its tendrils are just so, you'll hear that plug scrape along the floor as you go.

If you're looking to mop an entire floor, forget the Smart Mop. On the other hand, if you're sick of taking paper towel to floor every time Junior dumps his milk, well, tough, that's part of being a parent. The next time you see this on TV, change the channel.