… in much detail.
(…)
The President spends four weeks of this month on vacation, tweeting angrily and threatening to sue news agencies for libel.
June Barclays Bank announces plan to move to Frankfurt. Bank of Scotland announces plan to move to Dublin. The Royal Bank of Scotland announces plan to move to Paris then cancels it 24 hours later and announces plan to relocate into low Mars orbit "to escape the contagion". Sterling continues to slide and dips below dollar parity for the first time ever, but maintains Euro parity because the Euro is also slipping. Speaker Paul Ryan proposes to address the economic malaise now affecting US exporters (due to the relatively strong dollar) by switching to the Gold Standard. Melania Trump books an 8 hour slot on QVC pushing sales of Trump-branded gold bricks. (Early purchasers complain that their gold bricks are actually a thin layer of gold plate over a lump of (much cheaper) tungsten: the Trump Organization sues them for libel.) The retail price inflation index in the UK rises to 9.5%. British economy officially in recession (although whether this is due to Brexit or the death of the Queen is unclear).
Rumors begin to circulate about the construction of concentration camps outside Paris.
The Russian army conducts its biggest peacetime exercise of the new century just outside the Estonian frontier, simulating a response to a NATO invasion through the Baltic republics. Vladimir Putin announces that Russia has only peaceful intentions and has no historic claim to Latvia. President Trump congratulates him and invites him to the opening of a (non-existent) hotel in Talinn.
Boris Johnson announces the British response to this naked aggression against a NATO member: the UK will send two Eurofighter Typhoons, a destroyer, and an infantry platoon. He then plagiarizes a speech by Winston Churchill, is called on it during a live Sky News interview, and resigns in a temper tantrum.
Donald Trump spends only 3 weeks on vacation in June: his plan to visit Fife for a round of golf is cancelled when Police Scotland say that securing the approaches against Mexican marching bands and mooning Glaswegians is impossible.
Race riots break out in multiple US cities. Race riots break out in multiple French cities: state of emergency declared. …
