Gallery: Absurd Creature of the Week's Cutest Critters Ever
Bruno Morandi/Getty Images01GettyImages-85067370
Just look at those eyes. [They belong to the tarsier](https://www.wired.com/2015/01/absurd-creature-of-the-week-tarsier/), a small primate that can bound 15 feet from tree to tree, hunting primarily insects. Rumor has it that the tarsier was the inspiration for Yoda, and I'm nothing if not a strong believer in rumors. Unfortunately, any number of humanity's ills have put the tarsier in serious danger: deforestation, hunting, etc. Rising awareness of the creature, though, may help keep it from doom.
Mariella Superina/Paul Vogt02C
This is the pink fairy armadillo–its actual name. It doesn't have wings and can't cast spells and stuff like an actual fairy, but it does have a [rosy shell that acts like a radiator](https://www.wired.com/2014/01/absurd-creature-of-the-week-pink-fairy-armadillo-crawls-out-of-the-desert-and-into-our-hearts/). By pumping blood in and out of it, the armadillo can raise or lower its core temperature.
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We can't let the mammals hog all the cuteness. This here is the Barbados threadsnake, [the smallest snake on Earth](https://www.wired.com/2015/01/absurd-creature-of-the-week-barbados-threadsnake/). It's so small that it primarily hunts not just ants and termites, but the *larvae* of ants and termites. To fit in the threadsnake's body, its own eggs are oblong, which is somehow also cute.
Gary Cranitch/Queensland Museum04fig-4b-argentus-8756-finalb
Have you ever had so much sex that you bled internally and went blind and died? If you're the Australian marsupial antechinus you may well have. All of that actually [happens to the males](https://www.wired.com/2014/05/absurd-creature-of-the-week-this-marsupial-has-marathon-sex-until-it-goes-blind-and-drops-dead/). Their mating season is three weeks of almost nonstop lovemaking, with individual sessions topping out at 14 hours. So props, antechinus.
Andrew Digby/New Zealand Department of Conservation05apd-20140921-D0858-heather1-4
New Zealand is a weird place. As an island, its ecosystem doesn't work like one on the mainland, to the point where a parrot up and evolves away from flight. This is a kakapo, [the biggest parrot on Earth](https://www.wired.com/2015/05/absurd-creature-week-can-just-save-adorable-parrot-christs-sake/). Because New Zealand historically lacked mammals, save for bats, the kakapo didn't have to worry about land predators. And voila, it lost its ability to fly, for flight is energetically expensive. I mean, have you ever tried it?
Konrad Wothe/Getty Images06STORY-GettyImages-130869903
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo and a rodent? The jerboa, in all its adorable glory. Those legs have highly elongated foot bones, giving the jerboa one hell of a spring in its step. Just ... don't cut off its tail. I have to mention that because a ["cruel Frenchman" once actually did that as an experiment](https://www.wired.com/2015/09/absurd-creature-week-tiny-adorable-critter-half-kangaroo-half-velociraptor/).
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The Mexican mole lizard sure is cute, but it has something of a reputation. Legend says that if you make the mistake of dropping your pants and taking care of business out in the desert, the creature will [crawl up your bum and shred your insides](https://www.wired.com/2014/12/absurd-creature-of-the-week-mexican-mole-lizard/). Is it true? No. Is it funny? Yes. Hilarious even.
