Gallery: Trillion-Dollar Jet's Awesomely Bad Propaganda Videos
01f35hipster
The Pentagon's trillion-dollar family of fighter jets may be too big to fail. But they're not too big to rock out. The F-35 Joint Strike Fighter is the military's [hope for the stealth fighter jet of the future](http://stag-komodo.wired.com/dangerroom/2008/02/gates/). The operative word is "hope." The F-35 program is in serious trouble. Development for the F-35 has already cost $70 billion; the Government Accountability Office estimates [another $250 billion will be necessary](http://www.gao.gov/assets/590/589695.pdf) (.pdf). Maintenance and other "life cycle" costs over the decades will send the F-35 over the trillion-dollar mark, making it the most expensive weapons program in human history. In addition, a [host of design flaws](http://stag-komodo.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/12/joint-strike-fighter-13-flaws/) mean the Navy, Marine Corps and Air Force keep having to wait until their F-35s join their air fleets. The Navy might be [preparing](http://stag-komodo.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/04/super-hornet-jsf/) for the F-35 -- considered too big to fail by many defense analysts -- to fail. The Joint Strike Fighter's supporters, including contractor Lockheed Martin, have an answer: viral music videos. No, seriously. YouTube is full up with jet-porn vids of F-35s flying at night, blasting off from a simulated carrier deck or pleasing its pilots, all set to a bombastic modern-rock soundtrack. The idea, apparently, is that when you hear a generic version of the Killers, you'll forget all about sticker shock and engineering mishaps and soar into the air, borne on the back of a fifth-generation fighter jet and propelled by a whammy bar. Here are our favorite F-35 videos. ### Above: Joint Strike Hipster -------------------- A classic of the genre. Lockheed actually [hired a group of youthful musicians](http://stag-komodo.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/06/the-f-35-stealth-fighter-jet-of-discerning-hipsters/), attired them in skinny jeans, sweater vests, chunky glasses and hoodies, and had them learn a licensed piece of corporate rock. Watch irony and authenticity incinerate themselves in the F-35's afterburn. Bonus points for the Nirvana and "Keep Austin Weird" stickers.
02f35fx
The F-35 Hits the Airshows -------------------------- Lockheed shows this to the litany of global aerospace extravaganzas in the hope of selling more F-35s to more foreign militaries. The theme here is effects-heavy; it looks like they're controlling the Joint Strike Fighter from the tactical operations center of that weird government counterterrorism agency from *24*. Naturally, computer simulations factor heavily here, as does the booming voice of a confident, rugged narrator. Would you buy an F-35 from that man? Lockheed hopes so -- and hopes you won't mind the price.
03f35rainbow
I'm on a Boat! -------------- No variant of the F-35 is more star-crossed than the Marine version. The Marines' "Bravo" variant, intended to take off and land from a shortened deck of an amphibious assault ship, was so over-budget that the Pentagon [put it on a timeout in 2011](http://stag-komodo.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/01/stealth-jet-delay-could-screw-marine-corps/). Defense Secretary Leon Panetta ultimately took it off probation -- but not before Lockheed had a chance to film it taking off and landing from the *U.S.S. Wasp*, a big-deck amphib. Oh, and Lockheed made sure to film it literally flying over a rainbow. Soundtrack is reminiscent of "Coming to America"-era Neil Diamond.
04f35uk
Joint Strike Fighter: The UK Remix ---------------------------------- Part of the reason the U.S. military is committed to the F-35 is because foreign countries are already buying them from America. In this new video, released Wednesday, the Joint Strike Fighter invades Britain. Naturally, the backing music sounds a bit like Coldplay.
05f35night
Night Time Is the Right Time (To Refuel) ---------------------------------------- Finally, a documentary-style video. This is footage taken from the first time the F-35 met up with a KC-135 refueling tanker at night. Sparks flew. (Metaphorically.) The soundtrack is so U2ish you expect Bono to run out and start singing the first verse to "Where the Streets Have No Name." A safe move, and also a missed opportunity to use Elastica's "Connection."
06f35highlightreel
The F-35's Greatest Hits ------------------------ No, this isn't a *combat* reel -- the F-35 is years, and maybe a decade, away from firing a shot in anger. It's a collection of edgy clips and odd photo filters of the F-35 variants getting flown at air bases in California and Maryland. It's also good to know that Lockheed Martin is not giving up on nu-metal.
07f35cockpittestimonial
Man-in-the-Cockpit Reacts ------------------------- Don't take Lockheed Martin's word for how rad the F-35 is. Listen to Air Force Maj. Stephen "Whitey" Spears attest to the "professionalism and training that went into the testing" of the plane. Well, OK, so they're functionally the same thing. But at least this video has an explicit, verbalized narrative. Not much of a soundtrack, but the backing music sounds like it could be a special effect from the *Six Million Dollar Man.*
