Gallery: Fantastically Wrong: Unicorns Dig Virgin Women, and Other Lessons From Medieval Bestiaries
Rochester Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/Viewer.aspx?ref=royal_ms_12_f_xiii_f003r" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.01unicorn-r
The unicorn, perhaps the most famous of legendary medieval beasts, here in the embrace of a maiden who's like "Oh looks like you've got a little boo-boo back here."
Worksop Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/FullDisplay.aspx?ref=Royal_MS_12_C_XIX" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.02croc
It was said that the crocodile, while a menace to humanity, has its own mortal enemy: the serpent. As the crocodile lazes on a shore with its mouth agape, the serpent crawls in, enters the stomach, and gnaws its way out.
Worksop Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/FullDisplay.aspx?ref=Royal_MS_12_C_XIX" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.03tiger
Pliny the Elder, on [how to get your hands on a tiger cub](http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.02.0137%3Abook%3D8%3Achapter%3D25): Snatch a bunch from a den, set off on a swift horse, and wait for the mother to approach, "upon which the hunter throws down one of the whelps; this she snatches up with her teeth" and returns to her lair. She'll set out again and again, "until the hunter has reached his vessel, while the animal vainly vents her fury upon the shore.”
Worksop Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/FullDisplay.aspx?ref=Royal_MS_12_C_XIX" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.04salamander
Zounds, [the devilish salamander](https://www.wired.com/2014/08/fantastically-wrong-homicidal-salamander/)! Lore once claimed that the salamander is fireproof, and indeed born from flames. It is also highly poisonous, climbing into trees to muck up the fruits and falling into wells and thus tainting them.
Rochester Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/Viewer.aspx?ref=royal_ms_12_f_xiii_f003r" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.05beaver-r
It may not look much like it, but that’s a beaver...[chewing off its own testicles](https://www.wired.com/2014/10/fantastically-wrong-people-used-think-beavers-bit-testicles/). For quite some time, this was a pervasive belief: When pursued for its valuable gonads, the beaver---knowing the aim of the hunter---chews them off and throws them at the guy. Turns out that in reality those little bumps aren’t testicles, they’re the castor glands. Funny story, though.
Worksop Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/FullDisplay.aspx?ref=Royal_MS_12_C_XIX" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.06pelican
Baby pelicans supposedly get all uppity as they grow up and begin poking their parents in the face. The parents retaliate, naturally, killing their young. The mother then pecks at her own chest, spilling blood on the dead babies and reviving them. Unsurprisingly, in bestiaries this represented Christ’s crucifixion, and perhaps the authors' deep-seated familial psychoses.
Worksop Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/FullDisplay.aspx?ref=Royal_MS_12_C_XIX" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.07elephant
The elephant has a long history of being [hilariously misunderstood](https://www.wired.com/2014/11/fantastically-wrong-misconceptions-about-the-elephant/). Here, it battles its mortal enemy, the dragon (likely based on a constrictor). As the dragon squeezes it to death, the elephant topples over, crushing its murderer.
Rochester Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/Viewer.aspx?ref=royal_ms_12_f_xiii_f003r" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.08manticore-r
The notorious manticore. Says T. H. White: “It has a threefold row of teeth meeting alternately; the face of a man, with gleaming, blood-red eyes; a lion’s body; a tail like the sting of a scorpion, and a shrill voice which is so sibilant that it resembles the notes of flutes.” Like Jethro Tull, [only with a bit less hair and sweat](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd6u3hQ9bkQ).
Rochester Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/Viewer.aspx?ref=royal_ms_12_f_xiii_f003r" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.09bear-r
A doting bear with her cubs. So doting, in fact, that she must lick them into shape (indeed, it's [the origin of the saying](http://bestiary.ca/beasts/beast171.htm)). The young are born quite hopeless, really just a lump of flesh without eyes, and their mother’s licks are what form them.
Worksop Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/FullDisplay.aspx?ref=Royal_MS_12_C_XIX" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.10caladrius
The caladrius, whose dung will for some reason cure you of eye trouble, according to the *Physiologus*, the mother of all bestiaries. It also moonlights as a soothsayer. If you're laid up with an illness, invite the caladrius in. If it looks away from you, you are fated to die. If you can be cured, it stares you straight in the eye, absorbing your sickness before flying into the sun, not unlike modern doctors.
Worksop Bestiary/<a href="http://www.bl.uk/manuscripts/FullDisplay.aspx?ref=Royal_MS_12_C_XIX" target="_blank">British Library</a>. Used with permission.11crane
The crane at right holds a stone while others sleep. [Explains St. Anthony of Padua](http://bestiary.ca/beasts/beast234.htm): “They divide the night into watches, so that there may be a diligent care over all. Those that watch hold a weight in one of their claws, so that, if they happen to sleep, it falls on the ground and makes a noise,” thus waking everyone up.
