Gallery: The Most Wonderfully Ridiculous Movie Computers of All Time
01toweringinferno10
The United States government powered up its SAGE defense system in July 1958, at an Air Force base near Trenton, New Jersey. Short for Semi-Automatic Ground Environment, SAGE would eventually span 24 command and control stations across the US and Canada, warning against potential air attacks via radar and an early IBM computer called the AN/FSQ-7. "It automated air defense," says Mike Loewen, who worked with SAGE while serving with the Air Force in the 1980s. "It used a versatile, programmable, digital computer to process all this incoming radar data from various sites around the region and display it in a format that made sense to people. It provided a computer display of the digitally processed radar information." Fronted by a wall of dials, switches, neon lights, and incandescent lamps -- and often plugged into spinning tape drives stretching from floor to ceiling -- the AN/FSQ-7 looked like one of those massive computing systems that turned up in Hollywood movies and prime time TV during the '60s and the '70s. This is mainly because it *is* one those massive computing systems that turned up in Hollywood movies and TV during the '60s and '70s -- over and over and over again. Think [*Lost In Space*](http://sturgeon.css.psu.edu/~mloewen/Q7/scifi/LIS/). [*Get Smart*](http://sturgeon.css.psu.edu/~mloewen/Q7/scifi/GetSmart/). [*Fantastic Voyage*](http://sturgeon.css.psu.edu/~mloewen/Q7/scifi/Fantastic/). [*In Like Flint*](http://sturgeon.css.psu.edu/~mloewen/Q7/scifi/Flint/). Or our person favorite: *The Towering Inferno*. That's the AN/FSQ-7 in *The Towering Inferno* at the top of this page, operated by a man named OJ Simpson, trying to track a fire that's threatening to bring down the world's tallest building. For decades, the AN/FSQ-7 -- Q7 for short -- helped define the image of a computer in the popular consciousness. Nevermind that it was just a radar system originally backed by tens of thousands of vacuum tubes. For moviegoers everywhere, this was the sort of thing that automated myriad tasks not only in modern-day America but the distant future. It never made much sense. But sometimes, it made even less sense. In the '60s and '70s, some films didn't see the future all that clearly. Woody Allen's *Sleeper* is set in 2173, and it shows the AN/FSQ-7 [helping 22nd-century Teamsters make repairs to robotic man servants](http://sturgeon.css.psu.edu/~mloewen/Q7/scifi/Sleeper/). Other films just didn't see the present all that clearly. *Independence Day* was made in 1996, and apparently, its producers were [unaware that the Air Force decommissioned SAGE](http://sturgeon.css.psu.edu/~mloewen/Q7/scifi/ID4/) 13 years earlier. Of course, the Q7 is only part of the tale. The history of movies and TV is littered with big, beefy, photogenic machines that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Sometimes they're real machines doing unreal tasks. And sometimes they're unreal machines doing unreal tasks. But we love them all. Oh so very much. Mike Loewen first noticed the Q7 in a mid-'60s prime time TV series called [*The Time Tunnel*](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Time_Tunnel). Produced by the irrepressible [Irwin Allen](ipedia.org/wiki/Irwin_Allen), *Time Tunnel* concerned a secret government project to build a time machine beneath a trap door in the Arizona desert. A Q7 powered this subterranean time machine, complete with all those dials, switches, neon lights, and incandescent lamps. No, an AN/FSQ-7 couldn't really power a time machine. But time machines don't exist. So it all works out quite nicely. At first, Loewen didn't know it was a Q7. But then, after he wound up in front of a SAGE system while in the Air Force many years later, it all came together. "I realized that these computer banks running the Time Tunnel were large sections of panels from the SAGE computer," Loewen says. "And that's where I got interested." He noticed the Q7 in TV show after TV show, movie after movie -- and he started documenting these SAGE star turns on [his personal homepage](http://sturgeon.css.psu.edu/~mloewen/Q7/). In each case, the Q7 was seen doing stuff it couldn't possibly do, but there was no doubt this was the Q7 -- or at least part of it. Eventually, Loewen proved what he already knew. He tracked down a man named Thomas "Woody" Wood, who owned a Hollywood props house known as "[Woody's Electrical Props](http://woodysprops.com/)." Wood declined to be interviewed for this story, but according to Loewen -- who meet with Wood on a recent trip to southern California -- Wood once worked as a prop man for 20th Century Fox, and in the early- to mid-'60s, the movie studio acquired a Q7 that was de-commissioned by the Air Force. 20th Century Fox is the studio behind *Time Tunnel* and *Lost in Space* and so many of the other shows and movies documented on Loewen's website. According to Loewen, Wood then bought the Q7 hardware from Fox when he started his own prop house in the '80s. In any event, the AN/FSQ-7 lives on in our collective unconscious. So does the Sperry Rand Solid State that turns up [alongside Doris Day in *That Touch of Mink*](http://www.starringthecomputer.com/feature.html?f=607). And the DEC VAX 11/780 [that appears in *Seven*](http://www.starringthecomputer.com/feature.html?f=50), giving Brad Pitt unlimited access to crime fighting technology that's 20 years out of date. And all those meaningless blinking lights and spinning tape drives that show up in everything from *Demon Seed* to *Superman III*. With the images above, we profile our favorites. And we're sure you'll agree with exactly none of them. If you have others to suggest, please e-mail us at: cade\[email protected]. Our only rule is that we won't consider anything that actually makes sense. __Above__ Yes, that's O.J. Simpson. Before he allegedly killed his ex-wife, he was a football player, a TV broadcaster, and, most importantly, someone who turned up in '70s disaster movies. In *The Towering Inferno* (1974) -- also produced by Irwin "Master of Disaster" Allen -- O.J. mans the state-of-the-art computer system that provides foolproof fire protection for the skyscraper that Paul Newman built in the middle of downtown San Francisco. Except that isn't state-of-the-art. It's an AN/FSQ-7. And it's not foolproof. Spolier alert: The skyscraper burns!
02tunnel-28l
Here's that subterranean time machine that caught the eye of Mike Loewen in *The Time Tunnel* (1966). The cool thing about the *Time Tunnel* AN/FSQ-7 is that even when it traps two government scientists in an endless time warp, it always sends them to dates of extremely important historical significance. Otherwise, you'd have one boring TV show on your hands (see video below). <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904432949001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904432949001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
03sleeper-12l
We've always said that Woody Allen's *Sleeper* (1973) is the funniest movie of all time. No exceptions. But we can't help but roll our eyes at the vacuum-tubed SAGE radar system that turns up in the year 2173. Of course, this isn't our favorite *Sleeper* machine. That would be the Orgasmatron. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904432918001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904432918001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
04jaybob-3l
Yes, the AN/FSQ-7 was still going strong in 2001, when Kevin Smith made *Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back*. But in this case, it's used ironically. It turns up in a bad movie within the movie alongside Will Ferrell. At least we think it's used ironically. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904434178001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904434178001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
05dr-strangelove
OK, *Sleeper* isn't the funniest movie of all time. That would be Stanley Kubrick's *Dr. Strangelove* (1964). As noticed by intrepid movie machine spotter James Carter -- who runs a website called [Starring the Computer](http://www.starringthecomputer.com/) -- *Strangelove* includes an old IBM 7090/94, complete with a printer and the requisite tape drives. It turns up behind Peter Sellers in the Air Force base where Sterling Hayden sics some nuclear warheads on the Soviets because he can no longer get it up. The use of the IBM isn't overly ridiculous. But we find it rather amusing that in the one movie where the AN/FSQ-7 would make perfect sense, you don't find the AN/FSQ-7. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904411946001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904411946001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
06desk-set
*Desk Set* -- the 1957 romantic comedy starring Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn -- is ground zero for great movie computers. Hepburn works in the reference department at a major TV network, and Tracy is the man who arrives to replace her reference library with a massive machine known as the EMERAC ("Emmy" for short). We're supposed to think that Emmy will leave Hepburn jobless -- and that she'll wind up in the arms of someone who isn't Spencer Tracy. But then we remember we're watching a romantic comedy. Emmy is vanquished. Hepburn keeps her job. And, yes, she winds up in the arms of Tracy, the least convincing computer engineer in the history of movies. But we like Emmy. We really do. We like the tape drives. And all the blinking lights. And the way you can repair her with one of Katharine Hepburn's hairpins. But most of all, we like that red lever that tells her to self-destruct. We need one of those on our MacBook.
07billion-dollar-brain-new
Forget James Bond. The greatest British movie spy of the 1960s was Harry Palmer. In the third and final Harry Palmer flick -- *Billion Dollar Brain* (1967) -- Michael Caine turns up in Finland, where he meets the titular character: a Honeywell H200 that helps a crazed Texas millionaire plan a revolution in Soviet Latvia. The revolution doesn't exactly happen. But Michael Caine keeps a straight face when the Honeywell starts talking. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904434149001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904434149001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
08andromeda-002
Robert Wise directed classic films like *The Sound of Music* and *West Side Story*. And then he made *The Andromeda Strain* (1971). Based on a book by Michael Crichton, *The Andromeda Strain* is about a group of scientists who investigate an alien virus that kills people with blood clots. The key machine is known as MedCom, a medical computer that knows how to diagnose patients all on its own. We include it only for the classic bit of dialogue that accompanies its introduction. When a female technician explains that MedCom has diagnosed two patients lying in the next room, James Olson says: "Do I call you Miss MedCom?" <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904528270001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904528270001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
09soylent-green-001
Spoiler alert: Soylent Green is people! But that's not the only thing we're gonna spoil. *Soylent Green* is set in 2022, and at one point, you'll notice that a government facility is still using a remote calculator that plugs into the CDC 6600, a machine that was state-of-the-art in 1971. Come to think of it, we should scratch this from the list. This is pretty close to completely accurate. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904322215001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904322215001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
10willy-wonka
In *Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory* (1971), a Siemens System 4004 is asked to determine the location of the three remaining golden tickets. It refuses. Indignantly. Via punch card. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904280355001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904280355001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
11banacek-003
*Banacek* (1972-1974) is one of those oddly clever TV series that could only be made in the '70s. George Peppard is the title character, a Polish-American freelance insurance investigator who says things like "If you're not sure that it's potato borscht, there could be orphans working in the mines" and "If a wolf is after your sleigh, throw him a raisin cookie — but don't stop to bake him a cake." In the second episode of series two, Banacek is called in to investigate the disappearance of a medical supercomputer known as Max. In this case, those ridiculous panels with the flashing lights make perfect sense. As it turns out, Max disappeared because he was a fake to begin with. As a bonus, you get a cameo by an aging Anne Baxter. We do miss the seventies. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904280350001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904280350001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
12condor-001
In *Three Days of the Condor*, Robert Redford works for a CIA outpost in New York that does nothing but read books. Basically, they're looking for new ideas the CIA can put to good use -- and they've got a DEC PDP-8/E to help them out. The DEC was standard issue at the time. But that OCR contraption that automatically turns book pages, scans the text, and converts it to digital information? Not so much. And yet this is one of the most effective movie computers. The DEC suddenly turns poignant when everyone but Redford is wiped out by a hitman. When the shooting stops, it keeps on printing. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904322184001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904322184001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
13pink-panther
The best thing about *The Pink Panther Strikes Again* is the disco version of Henry Mancini's classic Pink Panther theme. But the second best thing is the ICT 1301 that helps Dreyfus vaporize the United Nations. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904322251001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904322251001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
14wargames-002
The movie is *War Games* (1983). The machine is the WOPR. The name says it all. <script language="JavaScript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <object class="BrightcoveExperience" id="myExperience1904302299001"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"></param><param name="width" value="660"></param><param name="height" value="423"></param><param name="playerID" value="1577029897001"></param><param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAAAAF1BIQQ~,g5cZB_aGkYZC26fBYKv5Nsnal0IamyGL"></param><param name="isVid" value="true"></param><param name="isUI" value="true"></param><param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true"></param><param name="@videoPlayer" value="1904302299001"></param></object> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script>
