Gallery: Lite Brite, the Movie? Game-Based Blockbusters, Pitched By You
01lite-brite
With just under [$300 million in box office receipts](http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=battleship.htm) and a [33 percent rating](http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/battleship/) on Rotten Tomatoes, Battleship isn't exactly a shining example of how to turn vintage toys and games into blockbuster fodder. But that's not stopping Hollywood from playing the nostalgia card, with a seemingly never-ending array of movies based on vintage board games and toys: Flicks inspired by [Tonka trucks](http://www.deadline.com/2012/06/sony-to-make-tonka-trucks-animated-movie/) and those freaky-looking [Good Luck Trolls](http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/dreamworks-plans-good-luck-trolls-24874) are currently in the works. When Wired cobbled together a list of"[10 toy-based movie ideas that would blow away *Battleship*](http://stag-komodo.wired.com/underwire/2012/05/toy-and-game-movies/), our always-thoughtful readers came up with some snarky, studio-ready possibilities of their own. Check out their craziest elevator pitches — and some of the vintage advertisements that inspired them — in the gallery above. __Above:__ Movie Idea: Lite Brite ---------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ In 2030, a world-famous, billionaire artist has created seven massive light installations by inserting giant, colored light pegs into peg boards custom-built from an everything-proof titanium/steel/unobtainium alloy. Each is to be stationed on one continent for a worldwide grand exhibition, but during final preparations, the light switches act together to create a set of symbolic signals. Multiple complex communications begin pouring in to international space agencies from distant galaxies. World governments mobilize. Is Earth about to meet its fate? Is the artist an alien in disguise? What about his estranged scientist brother and attractive, clever children? Can brothers reunite and help thwart the possible end of humanity? Can world powers use experimental technology to reach out to alien civilizations and begin a new Galactic Age of exploration? Or is the military-industrial complex on a runaway train to Armageddon? __Reader:__ KT
02mr-potato-head
Movie Idea: Mr. Potato Head --------------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ This is a toy suggestion from a coworker. Picture audiences desperate for a superhero movie worth watching flock to see John Goodman as a self-transforming crime fighter — half Picasso painting, half Frankenstein monster — turn his environment into tools to beat back the forces of evil. Marvel as he attaches a tree limb in an arm hole, preparing to club a culprit! Be amazed by the half-track leg that speeds him across any terrain! See the world in a whole new way as he uses his telescope eye! This ain't your childhood's spud, baby! __Reader:__ Andrew Purvis
03operation
Movie Idea: Operation --------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ Starring Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Peter Cushing, Carol Wayne and Milton Berle, from beyond the grave using CGI. In this light-hearted romp, Carol Wayne's real parts have been replaced with fake ones by evil scientist Price. It's up to Berle to find the real ones, hidden in plain sight on the chest of modern starlets, before Lorre and Cushing hide them away in their secret lair. Directed by Ken Russell. __Reader:__ Stsk
04slip-n-slide
Movie Idea: Slip 'n' Slide -------------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ Two centuries after global warming's effects have devastated the Earth by raising sea levels, life is good for a successful Bay Area architect (John Hamm) and his botanist wife (Nicole Kidman). But travel remains treacherous. A kelp-kudzu hybrid organism that evolved in the low-oxygen oceans of the past turns transportation into a gamble. Determined to help rebuild society, San Francisco and the human race, the couple sets out to have a baby. Finally pregnant, she slips down the remnants of what once was Filbert Street. Surviving and enjoying the ride, she works with her husband to develop and promote new and exciting living structures with safe, gravity-assisted exits. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan, produced by Steven Spielberg. __Reader:__ Andrew Purvis
05simon
Movie Idea: Simon ----------------- __Elevator pitch:__ It's a musical robot designed for children's entertainment, and a tool to aid traumatic brain injury patients in recovering their memory. But when it's struck by lightning, it goes on a rampage. Jason Segel saves the day in a humorous but also somehow depressing way. __Reader:__ DjX0708
06solitaire
Movie Idea: Solitaire --------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ Directed by David Cronenberg, starring Jeremy Irons. Watch as a man descends into madness. One card at a time. __Reader:__ Janos Sitar
07candy-land
Movie Idea: Candy Land ---------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ In a movie directed and produced by Tim Burton, a struggling Dwayne Johnson finds himself cast out into a strange land which he has never seen by a crossed voodoo lady (Rihanna). The dastardly Willem Defoe appears as the antagonist, for only one man can make it out alive. Kathy Bates co-stars as Gramma Nutt, as well as Jeff Bridges as King Candy. Appealing to the likes of either Gramma Nutt or King Candy is the only way to find an escape. But who is actually telling them the truth? Other actors: Amanda Seyfried as Princess Lolly, Kristen Bell as Princess Frostine, Bill Nye as Lord Licorice, and a remastered version of Jabba the Hutt as Gloppy. __Reader:__ Zachary Scott Oxley
08lawn-darts
Movie Idea: Lawn Darts ---------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ We seriously need a Lawn Darts movie, either starring Ben Stiller et al., or the *South Park* guys et al. Could you imagine the amazingness of something like Dodgeball or Baseketball, only with Lawn Darts? There'd have to be at least one comic-tragic death-by-dart scene. Young Owen Wilson watches a grown, a-hole Ben Stiller lawn-dart Wilson's dad in the championship match. Wilson trains like Rocky to be like his dad one day, to settle the score with crusty, grizzled, still a-hole Stiller. Call it a revenge-slash-coming-of-age tale. __Reader:__ Jujutsuka
09perfection
Movie Idea: Perfection ---------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ A disgruntled and recently fired postal employee creates a nuclear device from parts stolen in the mail. Its timer can only be stopped by following clues leading to electronic puzzle pieces mailed to random strangers across the country. Will the strangers be found in time? Will the FBI (or whoever) be able to stop the bomb? Are they really strangers? __Reader:__ BizzyM
10pet-rock
Movie Idea: Pet Rock -------------------- __Elevator pitch:__ Tom Hanks provides the voice of a rock that's witnessed the entirety of human history. Having been used as a hammer by prehistoric man, as part of a castle in the Middle Ages, a projectile during the Russian Revolution, and finally, a decoration at the bottom of a fish tank. In the end, we realize that the rock is not our pet. We are its. __Reader:__ Jayscheuerle
