The 7 Most Ridiculous Olympics Videogames Ever
The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Mario outrunning Sonic, snapped Atari 2600 joysticks: Why are Olympics videogames so weird?
Nintendo
Turning the Olympics into a videogame is a simultaneously great and terrible idea. On one hand, the Games almost seem tailor-made for videogame adaptations: Running? Jumping? Yes! Games are great for that. But then you actually play one and reality sets in: Such games invariably come down to mindlessly pressing buttons as rapidly as possible. And those are the good games. Here are some of the most ridiculous ones.
- This is the perfect Olympics game for anyone who's ever thought so hard about tying their shoes that they've forgotten how to actually do it. The name comes from the keyboard keys used to control the runner's calves and thighs. Now race for gold---or at least try to walk a few steps. How do people walk, again? [*QWOP*](https://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html) is the only Olympics-themed game where simply making it a few meters is an accomplishment worthy of adulation. *--JM*
- In general, Activision created the best games for the Atari 2600 console, but *Activision Decathlon* was a rare misstep. Oh, the graphics were gorgeous, loaded with fine detail and realistic animation (by 1983 standards). And it was amazing how Activision packed 10 games into a single cartridge. The problem is, most of them relied upon moving the 2600’s joystick back and forth as quickly as possible. The game quickly earned the nickname "Joystick Destroyer Deluxe" for the speed with which players could snap their controller right in half. Score: DNF. *--CK*
- When you think of the Olympics, what comes to mind? Feats of incredible athleticism? Rare moments of international solidarity? No, silly---mascots! *Izzy's Quest for the Olympic Rings*, for Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis, was the Olympics' very own mascot platformer. Players would run, jump, and pretend they were playing a half-decent *Mario* game as "Whatizit," the mascot of the 1996 Summer Games widely reviled as among the worst ever. Really scraping the bottom of the mascot barrel. *--JM*
- I’m not sure why, but I owned the Nintendo version of this (retitled *Caveman Games* to make absolutely sure it didn’t infringe anything) as a kid. Outrun a sabretooth tiger! Pole vault over a dinosaur! See how far you can throw your wife! It was not very good. All of the deep-seated misogynistic humor in the world couldn’t make up for the fact that, like most Olympics games, this was all about mindlessly slamming buttons as fast as possible, forever. *--CK*
- I won't pretend that I have any idea what went through the minds of the developers here. Based loosely on the 1984 Summer Games in Los Angeles and released on Commodore 64 and in the arcade, this Olympics game star ... the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Perhaps someone thought the kids were real into Quasimodo in the 80s? Other than your avatar's slight back hump, this plays like any other arcade-style Olympics game---compete through various events, go for the gold. Let's hide this forever in a bell tower. *--JM*
- What happens when you want an Olympics license to create the family-friendly sports game of your dreams, but can't wrangle one? You get exxxtreme. *Summer Olympix* for the Amiga is a quiet, cartoony version of the Games in which you compete in eight events (including kayaking) while playing a wide-eyed athlete who is almost certainly the estranged brother of Jon from *Garfield*. All the better, the events are run by a small, red-skinned devil man with clamshells for ears. He grins madly at you, firing a revolver to signal the start of each event. Where'd you get the gun, devil man? Is this purgatory? Can we go home now? *--JM*
- The only official Olympics videogames currently made are in this series, which features an alliance of erstwhile 16-bit rivals Mario and Sonic. This makes no damn sense. Sonic the Hedgehog’s entire reason for being is that he is the fastest thing in the world. How the heck is Mario going to outrun him? But he does. There’s got to be some kind of doping scandal here. Wake up, sheeple! (Special note to Sega: Please do not let the previous sentence inspire you to add an anthropomorphic sheep to the next *Sonic* game; we have suffered enough.) *--CK*
Comments
Back to top
Chris Kohler started writing for WIRED in 2002, and founded WIRED.com's Game|Life channel in 2005. He is the author of the books Power-Up and Retro Gaming Hacks, and co-hosts the Stitcher Award-winning podcast Good Job, Brain! ... Read More
The Best Game Controller for Every Kind of Player
A great gamepad instantly levels up your play. These are our top picks for Switch, Xbox, PlayStation, and PC.
Brad Bourque
Which Fujifilm Instax Camera Should You Buy?
Should you buy an Instax Mini or Mini Evo? Instax Square or Wide? We demystify Fujifilm’s Instax lineup to help you find the perfect instant camera (or printer).
Scott Gilbertson
Firewire's Neutrino Looks Like an Ironing Board and Takes Off Like a Shot
Firewire makes the most innovative surfboards in the industry. This winter, I tried the Neutrino, Machado, and Revo Max to see if they're worth the hype.
Brent Rose
The Best Kids' Bikes for Every Age and Size
The WIRED Reviews team has kids, and we tested all types of kids’ bikes. Here are our top picks.
Adrienne So
The Best Ski Clothes for Staying Warm and Having Fun
From weatherproof jackets and pants to puffers, gloves, and socks, WIRED’s winter sports experts have you covered.
Chris Haslam
The Best Espresso Machines, Including—Surprise—the Most-Hyped Pick of 2026
The best espresso makers can turn your kitchen into a café and help you hone the art of the perfect shot.
Matthew Korfhage
The Best Apple Watch Accessories
You finally caved and bought an Apple Watch. These are our favorite bands, screen protectors, and chargers to go with your new smartwatch.
Adrienne So
Death to Dry Skin. These Humidifiers Are Better Than Chapstick
From models for traveling to humidifiers that double as planters or air purifiers, we've tested a dozen of them.
Matthew Korfhage
What’s With the US Ban on Foreign Routers?
The FCC just banned the sale of new consumer-grade Wi-Fi routers manufactured outside the US. Here’s what it means for you.
Simon Hill
FCC Enforcement Chief Offered to Help Brendan Carr Target Disney, Records Show
Last year, as FCC chair Brendan Carr threatened ABC over a Jimmy Kimmel monolog, a civil servant overseeing West Coast stations privately pledged support, according to emails obtained by WIRED.
Dell Cameron
The Best Pixel 10 Cases and Accessories for Accidental Phone-Droppers
Slap a case on your shiny new Pixel, whether you have the Pixel 10a, Pixel 10, or Pixel 10 Pro XL. We also have recommendations for Qi2 chargers and other accessories.
Julian Chokkattu
Which Samsung Galaxy Phone Should You Buy?
From flagship and budget to flipping and folding, Samsung’s Galaxy range spans the breadth of the smartphone cosmos. WIRED’s here to help you make your choice.
Julian Chokkattu