Fine precision German engineering has long been a selling point for exports like machinery and cars. But have you ever considered bringing that kind of exactitude to the breakfast table? Wouldn’t your morning toast be improved by a little math? Shouldn’t your day start with elegantly—nay, exquisitely proportioned food?
If the answer to any or all of these questions is “yes,” you’re bound to vibe with Jan, a German man better known online as Germanbreadcutter. Since February, he has amassed more than 100,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube thanks to a single surprising skill: his ability to slice bread so evenly that you’d swear it wasn’t cut by hand.
Jan, who requested that WIRED withhold his last name to avoid having coworkers learn of his social media presence, was inspired to launch his channels after one breakfast when a friend cut a particularly magnificent slice of bread and held it up for him to admire. “I was deeply impressed,” he recalls. “Since that moment, life hasn’t been the same. Every single time I cut a loaf of bread now, my ultimate goal is to make the cut as perfect as I possibly can.”
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The challenge is simple and undeviating. Every day, Jan places a loaf of bread on a cutting board, wishes his fans a “good bread-cutting morning,” then says he is going to “see how accurate we can slice today.” Next, using either a Piklohas or Hoshanho bread knife (German and Japanese brands, respectively), he attempts to cleave a slice of totally uniform thickness. Once the slice is separated, he measures it around the edges with a digital caliper tool made by Kynup, a manufacturer owned by a Chinese company. His goal is as little deviation as possible between measuring points, and he measures fluctuations in his accuracy with a continuously updated “breadsheet.”
Mundane as that may sound, the reactions are anything but, particularly when Jan manages to get within a millimeter—sometimes even a fraction of a millimeter—of an objectively flawless slice. The comments on his currently reigning “Golden Slice,” which he cut on June 27 for episode 136, achieving a maximum thickness deviation of just 0.08 mm, are nothing short of ecstatic. “Best performance in sports history,” wrote one fan. “One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen,” another declared. “THE APEX. THE CLIMAX. HE DID IT. NO MACHINE CAN BEAT HIM,” reads the top-liked comment.
Jan is amazed at the support he’s found for his niche hobby. “I am completely overwhelmed by the community,” he tells WIRED. “Maybe the viewers feel the exact same way I did back when my friend cut that slice,” he reflects. “And I hope that many of my viewers are now inspired to get intensely into the bread-cutting sport themselves.”
To that end, Jan offers links to buy the same specialty tools he relies on; he makes sure to select pieces that were available worldwide. And while he doesn’t currently have promotional deals with those brands, it hardly feels out of the question. He’s a superstar, after all.
Jan’s day job has nothing to do with the food business, he says, nor has he ever baked his own bread. “We have so many incredibly good bakeries here in Germany, I don’t think I’ll run out of different kinds of bread to try anytime soon,” he says, though he adds he’s “always looking for unique loaves.” Jan slices his way through an entire loaf before moving on to a new one, with fans regarding each subsequent loaf as another “season” of his show.
So far, Jan’s favorite bread has been the Frankenlaib, the traditional round German sourdough loaf that yielded his recent Golden Slice. His least favorite, he says, “despite a good performance,” was a square, block-shaped loaf of whole grain bread. That’s because, perfectionist that he is, he doesn’t believe in shortcuts: “Even though we performed really well toward the end, I personally don't find the result on a square loaf as impressive as cutting a ‘real,’ traditionally shaped loaf of bread,” Jan explains.
Like any professional athlete, Jan has his off days. In these moments, his viewers are quick to encourage him not to lose faith. Commenting on a less-than-stellar slice in May, one fan wrote: “Reflect on the mistake for 5 minutes and then move on. Tomorrow will be better!” Another quipped that while the slice made for a “tough” watch, he could “probably still eat it.” Jan has noted on one of his videos that the end of a loaf presents special difficulties in gripping and stabilization. “My personal Achilles’ heel,” he wrote. (The last time he struggled with one of these sections, a fan wrote: “You attempt the cuts others would consider end-pieces. You remain an inspiration of skill, art, and accountability.”)
These moments become little lessons in tenacity, as well as the zen of a humble yet impossible endeavor. The actually perfect slice of bread may be forever out of reach. Striving toward this ideal, however, Jan offers us a riveting example of the indomitable human spirit. And the stumbles make the successes all the more emotional. As a commenter summed up in their reply to one of Jan’s best slices: “I’m on life support in the hospital. After watching this, I think I can say it’s my time to go. Thank you for these precious final moments you gave me.”
What’s more, Jan never loses sight of what’s really important: the delicious versatility of bread itself. A slightly lopsided slice still makes a fine snack. “It's really important to me to mention that every single slice is eaten,” Jan says. “Sometimes plain, sometimes with butter, sometimes with butter and jam, or with cheese. Nothing goes to waste.”
