How to Not Embarrass Yourself in Front of the Robot at Work

It's weird to be a robot in an office,

but it's just as weird to have to interact with one.

You can't shake their hand,

you can't grab a cup of coffee,

they might fall over on you or freeze up

while you're talking to them.

Robot co-workers are gonna become more and more common

in the near future, so we all need to learn

how to get along.

After living as a robot employee for a few months,

here are some etiquette tips I've learned.

There you go, you just had something on your nose.

Well, that'll be in the video, so, thanks Marcus.

My pleasure.

First, rules for humans with robot coworkers.

This machine is a physical extension of your real coworker,

so don't do anything to it that you wouldn't do

to that person in real life.

Don't inappropriately touch a robot.

Would you pick up your coworker without asking them?

No, so don't do that to their robot, either!

Also a no-no?

Shaking it, pushing it, or generally touching it

at all without asking.

Don't sneak up on a robot.

Hey Emily.

So I'm thinking about that story you wrote--

[Emily] Your coworker doesn't have eyes in the back

of her robot head, and she barely has peripheral vision,

so don't approach her from behind and start talking.

Where are you, wait, who is this?

I'm over here.

[Emily] Move to the front where she can see you.

Oh, there you are, yay!

Oh, okay, cool, hold on, let me get something.

And, before you launch into a face-to-face meeting,

let your coworker grow a little taller,

so they're looking at your eyes and not at your belly.

Oh, hey!

Oh hey.

[Emily] Hey, sorry.

Now we're on the same level.

Rules for robots.

Ask for help when you need it,

but don't be a burden.

Your robot may get stuck in the Wi-Fi dead zone.

Its microphone may go dead.

You may get lost or fall over.

In these moments, there's no such thing as pride.

Ask for help, but don't force your coworkers

to become constant robot babysitters.

Thank you!

No problem.

[Emily] Don't interrupt.

Your remote robot may have a slight lag,

causing you to interrupt everyone in meeting.

Calibrate so that you don't alienate your humans.

Grid, for you?

Yes, she is.

Hey, Delilah--

Oh my God.

Oh, sorry!

Don't sneak up on humans.

Just as it's rude for a human being to stand

silently behind somebody's desk, watching what they type,

and listening to their phone calls,

robots too, should refrain from this kind of creepiness.

Since your robot doesn't make as much noise as you roll by,

make a habit of saying hello to your coworkers,

so they hear you approach.

Boo!

[Emily] (laughs) Goddamnit.

You're not supposed to sneak up on a robot! (laughs)

You snuck up on me, to be fair.

[Emily] I mean, I always sneak up,

I always think it's louder than it is.

Here, follow the coffee, want some coffee?

Mmm, God, yes. Nice coffee.