New Rules for Stylish and Proper Behavior with Guest Voice of Reason: Jerry Seinfeld

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Rolling?

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Since I'm kind of a cutting edge technology guy,

I get asked a lot of technical questions,

so I'm gonna answer a few of them now.

For Wired Magazine.

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Dear Jerry, I've got (whistle)

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Okay.

Okay.

I think my neighbor is feeding my cat.

Is it cool to use a drone to spy on him?

What's wrong with someone feeding your cat?

Seems like they're doing you a favor, leave 'em alone.

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Here's one from Billy in San Francisco who says,

I like coffee and I like cars,

can I be on your show?

No.

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From Amy, Cleveland misspelled, Ohio.

Dear Mr. Wonderful, if someone posts about

a death in their family, is it appropriate to

like the post?

Yes.

Yes, death is not a hundred percent bad.

We need the room.

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From... (ring)

Would you get that?

Thank you.

From Marcus, Burbank, alright! (ring)

Just get it!

Stop that sound!

From Marcus, Burbank California.

Is it okay to video a concert

with my iPad?

Sure.

Sure, go ahead.

So you won't enjoy the concert

and you won't enjoy the video.

So you'll have negated everything.

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Is it hazardous to tweet on Ambien?

I don't think so.

I don't think there's anything that can go wrong

with a tweet.

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So the tweet,

I think it's interesting that we developed tweeting,

because

we so admired

birds,

that we saw them in trees,

just sitting on branches, going

(whistle)

We thought, Oh my God,

We gotta be doing this.

We also must drop an annoying series of small daily

turds upon the Earth.

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The first tweet by the way was

(whistle)

and it meant sex, worms,

hashtag

rocks my world.

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Our human resources director just posted a nude photo

of herself on Facebook, is it okay to like it?

I've never had a job, not interested.

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Dear Joey

Joey?

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This guy writes, Dear Joey.

That must be for the Joey Fatone shoot that we're doing

after this one.

Have you cashed in your Bitcoins yet?

Very clever, using a trendy word.

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Dear Jerry, if my friend doesn't respond to my text,

is it okay to obsessively keep sending more texts

until he replies?

Also, what is a restraining order?

Who wrote this?

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You can't spell at all, Dan.

Restaining.

You didn't even spell ing.

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Dear Jerry, I work in Silicon Valley.

We already don't like you.

(beep) Not interested.

(beep) Get a life.

(beep) No.

(beep) Don't care.

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My tweets are friggin' hilarious.

(ring)

No they're not because the word friggin' is lame.

Hang on.

Hello.

Yeah.

Wired.

I know.

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