Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond & James May Show Us the Last Thing on Their Phones

I'm James May.

I'm Richard Hammond.

I'm Jeremy Clarkson.

And this is, the last thing on my phone.

What is?

That's the name of the segment.

(upbeat music)

[Interviewer] So if you guys could look

right into this camera here in the middle.

(crew laughs)

Alright.

(upbeat music)

It's my penis.

It's my own trousers.

But this is your own,

am I allowed to show that?

That's something from the grand tour.

It's our changing room.

It's he and James-

Well, you know. Touching each other.

(upbeat music)

Okay, it's, YouPorn, that's a YouPorn.

What was it?

(Richard laughs)

Oh God really, you uh.

I'm in it.

Nobody wants to see that.

I'm in it.

(upbeat music)

Mine was Names.co, trying to change the name

of my email account, that's interesting, isn't it?

I was looking for, the U.S. Embassy.

You seriously had to Google where the U.S. Embassy

was in London.

You want something even funnier?

What?

I didn't find it.

I was on my motorcycle, I had to stop,

and just park it and got in a taxi and went 150 yards to it.

I don't live in London!

I also looked at the weather in Suffolk

'cause Hammond and I have to go there tomorrow.

Is it England. It's raining.

Is it awesome. It's the seaside.

It's raining.

It's raining. No need to look that up.

(upbeat music)

It's my parole officer.

Mine is from my son, quite good actually.

Mine was (bleep) off.

Can't tell you what mine was

'cause you'll just think I'm a (bleep).

Your helicopter is grounded this week.

(Richard laughs)

Which means you have to go Suffolk in your car.

(Richard laughs)

(upbeat music)

Three.

One. I have three.

06:17, 06:19, 06:20.

I've got Willow's birthday alarm and Mardi Gras.

Well my time's are: 5:00, 5:17, 5:30, 5:45,

6:00, 6:10, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00,

18:00, 18:58, and 19:55.

Why have you left them all on?

I might an alarm at 19:55.

Well you can always set another one.

I've got 7:01, 18:03, and 21:01.

They are tagged dad's birthday,

haircut and get up (bleep) face.

(upbeat music)

I have never used an Emoji, ever.

I don't use ever Emojis.

Me neither, I never use one.

It's just inappropriate, I, it just feels wrong

to be using an Emoji, I don't feel like I should.

James, you have used Emojis, I know.

I've only ever used the thumbs up one, occasionally,

'cause you can do it in lots of different colors,

it's very right on.

So you can have it all the way from a sort of pasty

Northern European to a, you know, somebody from Africa.

All shades of human.

(upbeat music)

I've got the incidental music

of the Pelleas et Melisande by Spadia,

some medieval music,

two Jam albums,

and, that's all of the same album,

that's all off the same album as well.

(upbeat music)

Einstein died off planet.

Look back and do all we can.

Einstein still died.

We are what we are and the time we can

conceive and measure, utterly meaningless.

Kate Winslet, something to tell us yes,

diarrhea sea pick on people in bins.

I suspect it was, there was a story that Kate Winslet

was pregnant, they got a photograph of maybe

a baby bump as

(incoherent mumbling)

calls it, then I've got something to tell us Caitlyn?

Yeah, I've got diarreah, I've just got a bit of

a bloated gut, I'm going to have a big (bleep) in a minute.

(bleep)

(upbeat music)

111,672.

I've got just two.

There's my inbox. That's a lot of unreads.

All of them are unread.

If you're watching this, Peter Drawn, rugby school,

whoever you are, Mark Davero, Benjamin Edwards,

Simon Morris, Jeff Bezos, unread.

(they laugh)

Yeah you should probably try a bit harder.

Well that's a bit embarrassing.