Wake Up, Geek Culture. Time to Die

I remember a time of plenty,

when the world was full of sequels,

and side-quels, and prequels and reboots, and reimaginings.

Now, all of that is gone.

I'm left with a few random artifacts

from the great pop culture implosion.

We were so excited when they did that massive

JLA, Avengers,

Freddy, Saw, Predators,

Aliens, Hangover 4 mash-up movie.

If we had only known that it was gonna

create the pop culture mind-sink that it did,

and that we'd be left out here

in this day-glow wasteland,

digging in the sand for old

Atari 2600 cartridges,

iPhone apps that somehow relate to Black Adder

and Green Lantern giveaway rings,

from a premiere that never happened.

Sorry, Ryan Reynolds.

What the hell were we thinking?

We've gotta rebuild this.

We've gotta be careful, we've gotta have solid foundations.

We can't throw zombies and sexy vampires into everything.

Even though it seems like it's gonna be

a delicious breakfast cereal,

you just can't do it.

We're gonna do it right this time.

Oh God, I need a gummy bear.

(eerie musical tones)