Self Defense Expert Answers Self Defense Questions

I'm Avital Zeisler, self-defense instructor,

published author and motivational speaker.

I am here today to answer your questions from the internet.

This is Self-Defense Support.

[upbeat music]

Pharose is asking, what is the best strategy

for strike and flee self-defense?

When it comes to striking and fleeing,

one of the most effective strikes is a push kick

because it's targeting the groin, a vulnerable target,

it's creating additional distance for you to escape,

and it works very well for that strategy

and that overall objective.

I really wanna show you this one. So let's go.

So whenever it comes to striking for self-defense,

I wanna target a vulnerable area

with a harder surface area on my body,

and I wanna strike through the target for maximum impact.

So for the push kick, I'm driving the ball of my foot

through the attacker's groin and creating that space.

I'm also generating more power by bringing my hips forward.

So let's do it.

[sharp striking]

Are you okay? [chuckles]

So that is your strike and flee tactic.

Levitatingloser, is it bullshit?

Is shouting fire really more effective than crying rape

at getting people to come and help?

So I first wanna say

that you cannot rely on anybody to come and save you.

You are your first and your last line of defense.

That is why training self-defense matters so much.

Now, when it comes to the yelling fire instead advice,

there is no clear evidence that using one word

is going to help you over another consistently.

But what's really important here is that you be loud,

you be visible, and you be specific.

For example, if I see somebody with the red shirt,

I'm going to yell at them and say,

Hey, you in the red shirt, call 911.

Because specific commands help people

overcome their own hesitation.

So as a general principle, be loud,

draw as much attention to yourself

because you'll make that attacker think twice

about targeting you.

Illustrious-Fan7700.

What do y'all do when you're being followed?

If you are being followed, do not go home.

You never wanna give somebody

information about where you live

or any additional information

that can be used against you later.

What you do wanna do is get to a safe location

as quickly as possible.

So this is a well-lit populated area,

grocery store, of course a police station.

But when you head there, you want to prioritize your safety.

This means creating as much distance as possible,

even going to the other side of the street.

If you have a self-defense device on you,

get it in your hand, ready to use.

If you have a safety app, turn it on.

I also recommend calling someone on speaker,

and the most important

is engaging your situational awareness.

You have to see what's going on around you

and also let that person know that you're aware of them,

because that alone might make you a hard enough target

that it's not worth the risk for them.

So if you sense that somebody is following you,

if you can place your back against a wall safely

to eliminate your blind spot and let them pass you,

it's gonna help put you in a better and stronger position

because now they're walking in front of you

and you're behind them.

All right, this is from the SelfDefense subreddit.

Is the kick to the balls effective in self-defense?

A kick to the groin is very effective,

but you have to understand that there are no guarantees.

First of all, you cannot control

how somebody's going to physically respond.

You can't control pain tolerance.

You can't control how adrenaline is going to affect them.

So when you are targeting the groin

or any target for self-defense,

the real objective is to disrupt the attacker long enough

to create that window to escape

or to get ahead on your next defensive move.

Of course, you just wanna keep disrupting

in any way possible, strikes, using objects.

It's not about preparing a sequence of steps

and hoping it's going to work under stress;

it's about making sure that you lock in survival concepts

and strategies that you can adapt with under stress.

TheHumbled is asking, what everyday item could transition

into a self-defense tool if needed?

I really wanna demo this for you guys, so let's go.

Alright, any everyday object can be used

to defend yourself with, if it helps shield you,

buy you time, disrupt an attack.

A chair is a great example,

and a purse is also a great example.

Here for the chair, it serves as a shield.

It also helps create distance.

And worst case scenario is a last resort

I'm able to strike with it.

[chair banging]

Okay, you get the point.

One other thing I wanna say is that

any everyday object can also be dropped,

it can be grabbed by the attacker,

it could also be used against you.

So you have to factor that into your training.

Now let's talk about the purse.

So from here, if I'm being attacked,

I can use it to defend myself with.

I can also grab it and I can strike somebody with it

to help send my attacker.

Again, very great option if that's what you have on you.

But like with anything in self-defense,

you have to take time and practice using it

so that under stress, you have that muscle memory to use it.

CombatSDRob, using your keys for self-defense;

good advice or urban legend?

Alright, it's very common advice and I was given that too,

but I no longer recommend it.

When you use keys to defend yourself with,

for example, I'm holding it here,

I'm holding it here, I'm holding it here.

There is a higher chance that you can injure your own hand

rather than generate meaningful stopping power.

What I recommend is that is actually getting a device

that's specifically designed for your key chain

or to have on you when you're in public

that can help you disrupt an attack

such as something like this.

You can hold it and you can just do simple hammer fist.

It actually looks like this.

It's like the motion of banging on a door

and it can help disrupt an attack

and create that opportunity for you to escape.

So make sure wherever you are, that you know your local laws

when it comes to devices, and also practice it

and then have it on you and easy to access when you need it.

Otherwise, there is no point of investing

in a safety device like this.

We have a question here from Quora.

Given your past experience,

what's the most common tactical mistake people make

when trying to defend themselves in a violent situation?

I would for sure say hesitation,

and also trying to force a defense

that has a specific series of steps instead of adapting

to what they're actually facing in that moment.

So if you know strategies that you can adapt with,

it's gonna let you be more responsive

to what you're actually facing and seeing in the moment

as opposed to being like, wait,

it's supposed to go this way and then it doesn't,

then you freeze, you hesitate, you become slow.

It lets the attacker have an advantage over you.

There's a very big difference between

self-defense that's more choreographed

versus self-defense that's literally prepping you

to assess your surroundings and implement strategies

that you can adapt with.

So what I have found in self-defense is that

you have consistent reference points.

For example, if somebody is choking you,

there's not gonna be a different way of choking you

when it's a front choke with two hands on your neck.

That is a reference point

that you can have an expected reaction from,

like how to release the choke.

But from that moment on,

you don't know how that person's gonna react.

That's why it's important to train concepts and phases

that you can adapt with.

For example, if I release that choke, I can disengage.

If I wanna stay and continue striking

because I haven't disrupted them enough

to create that window to escape,

then I'll continue doing that.

And when you have that mindset for survival,

your expectations become way more realistic.

Self-defense is messy, it's unpredictable,

and all you really have under stress are strategies

and concepts and tactics that you can adapt with.

From the NoStupidQuestions subreddit,

why is pepper spray such a popular self-defense option?

Pepper spray or pepper gel is a great option

because it lets you defend yourself from a distance.

It's also small and easy to carry.

I personally prefer pepper gel

because it reduces the risk of blow back.

But regardless of which one you choose,

you have to first make sure that it's legal where you live,

you have to practice using it safely,

and you have to have it on you and accessible

so that you're able to use it in a real life situation.

There are inert options to train with

that don't have live spray in them,

so you can actually practice using them

and it's good to practice in realistic scenarios.

Pressure test yourself, getting it from your bag,

having it in your hand.

You wanna go across the attacker's face,

giving verbal commands,

even integrating self-defense into it.

Queryboyo, what is the best weapon or skill to have

for self-defense as a woman?

So I wanna start by saying

that the only attack you are guaranteed to survive

is the one that you can prevent.

That is why the best skill for a woman

is not a weapon or a move.

It is what's called situational awareness.

Situational awareness means being more aware

of your surroundings, but in a tactical way for survival.

So this means taking notice of safe locations, exits,

objects that you can creatively use to defend yourself with,

any security nearby.

When you start practicing this,

you are going to feel paranoid, that's very normal,

but this really is a life-saving habit

that I encourage you to start doing right now.

I always advocate for people to take self-defense.

From the systems that I've been exposed to,

I find that they all have value,

but it's very important that you develop a survival mindset,

situational awareness and prevention protocol,

and of course to pressure test defenses

from best to worst case scenarios

so you really lock down those survival strategies

and are able to take the pressure in a real life situation.

A Quora user is asking, what should I do

when someone tries to force me into their car?

If somebody is trying to force you into their car,

you have to do everything possible to intercept that attack

because being taken to a second location is way worse.

It reduces visibility, it increases risk.

Strike, be loud.

If you're close to the car, if you can push off of the car,

you wanna drop your weight.

You have to be in that mindset,

I am not getting into that car,

I am not giving up, I'm fighting to disrupt and disengage

and get to a safe location as quickly as possible.

Waterkata is asking, most trash advice:

100 meter dash is the best self-defense.

The goal of self-defense is to survive.

And if your brain assesses under a threat

that escape is possible, yes, run as quickly as you can.

But I wanna take this opportunity to say that

fitness and staying in shape is also part of self-defense.

You might have to keep fighting and defending yourself,

you're gonna be exhausted,

and also you might have to literally run for your life.

Heiny90 is asking how to break free

when pinned against a wall.

So when somebody is pinning your wrist against a wall,

they are actually giving up their own arms.

They're not striking you,

they're not attacking you in any other way.

It's a great opportunity for you to go after the groin

because they are so close to you.

Depending on your striking distance and your range,

you can go for the knee, you can go for a shin kick,

and then that's gonna start to disrupt the attacker

and let you start to move your body into a better position

to do wrist grab releases, additional strikes,

and to continue to defend yourself

until you can create that opportunity to escape.

If somebody pins your wrist against a wall,

you have to act fast

before they continue on with their attack.

From here, the attacker has both my hands against the wall

giving me a gift, where in this moment

I'm able to target the groin.

So depending on your striking range, I can go for a knee,

I can go for a shin kick to the groin.

What I'm going to do next is slide my body over

and get ready to do a wrist release if I need to.

If it's safe to escape from here, I'm going to escape.

If I need to continue striking, I have options.

I can control here, I can continue to strike even more

and then create distance and escape.

[sharp striking]

And that is how you break free when pinned against a wall.

From Shakespeare06, if a woman is attacking you,

example, pushing you, yelling at you, hitting you,

kicking you, or all of the above, is it okay to hit back?

Why or why not?

Self-defense is not about gender,

it's about behavior and threat and the tactics don't change.

You are legally allowed to defend yourself,

but you have to stop when the threat stops too.

If somebody's attacking you,

there's a chance that they can really hurt you,

but you wanna make sure that your response is proportional

to the level of force that's being put upon you.

From Atom_sim, why does every American house and movies

in TV have a baseball bat?

Okay, so baseball bats make for great TV,

but in reality, they have limitations.

First of all, you have to be able to swing a bat

towards a target and in a home,

there could be very tight hallways, small entry points.

You might not be able to achieve your objective,

and there's also the risk that the attacker can grab

the baseball bat and use it against you.

When it comes to home invasion and home safety,

you have to look at it in the equation of prevention

and then reaction.

So, prevention, home security systems,

great neighborhood watch programs,

even the simple habit of locking your door,

which a lot of people like you know, accidentally don't do.

And then you go into the reaction side.

This is where I recommend investing in a self-defense tool

or a device that you're legally allowed to use,

placing it in a consistent placing in your home

out of reach of children, and then actually practice

what you would do in an emergency situation.

I also recommend always having your keys at your night table

so you can hit the alarm and maybe scare someone off.

But when it comes to where you're placing things,

it has to be strategic,

it has to be based on your actual home layout.

And the more that you drill these scenarios,

the more obvious it's gonna become

where a great place is for you to store that device.

This is from Tazkiyahh.

How do I break free from someone

if they grab my hair or my body?

So I'm going to highlight the hair grab defense.

I get asked this question a lot,

but it's better if I show you, let's go.

Again, you have to intercept this attack

as quickly as possible

because when somebody grabs your hair,

they have control over your head,

which has control over your body.

So let's go through a common scenario

where somebody's grabbing my hair.

Immediately, I'm getting into my base.

I'm wrapping my arm around the attacker's arm,

I'm putting pressure on the shoulder joint,

I can dislocate the shoulder if I continue.

If for some reason they're still holding on from here,

I have options.

I can close in, continue to attack

and even render him unconscious if I have to.

But the priority is always to disrupt

and disengage as quickly and safely as possible.

And that's how you break free from a hair grab.

NM010101, I want to learn

how to improve my reaction time and reflexes.

So improving your reaction time

is actually about pattern recognition.

This again, is why it's so important to train

defensive reactions from best case to worst case scenario

so that your brain builds these action templates

that it can access automatically under stress

and let you actually adapt.

Because self-defense, it's messy, it's unpredictable,

and you have to train for that reality.

Pick-pocketing or grabbing,

you know, your phone from your hands,

that is obviously something that's happening a lot.

Now this comes back to situational awareness

and also prevention protocols.

Of course, being aware of your surroundings,

you might detect somebody targeting you, create distance,

keep an eye on that person.

Beyond that, to practice situational awareness,

I always say cut the distractions.

Get your phone away, lower input audio or cut it completely

because you need to be aware of what's going on around you.

And that text message, that quick scroll on social media,

checking your emails, it can wait

because your safety is always more important.

Now, when it comes to your belongings, if you have a bag,

you know, close your zippers,

put it in front of you, put your hand over it,

and never leave your bag

on the corner of a chair hanging off.

If you are approached by a stranger,

you have to be on high alert

because it can easily be a setup

to take something from you, to mug you

so practice situational awareness

because it really truly is lifesaving.

CuriousCatNYC777, urgent self-defense tip:

how to get out of a choke hold?

You know what I'm gonna show you this one. Let's go.

From here, I have to intercept this as quickly as possible

because I need to prevent myself from going unconscious.

I get into my base for balance.

If the attacker is putting even more pressure,

I'm going to be shuffling with him

just enough to keep me on my feet

so that I can release the grip.

I'm doing that by creating this position

and then I'm twisting my body.

I keep an eye on my attacker.

I don't overturn so that I expose my back.

But from here, if I feel like I can safely I can disengage,

or from here I release, I can strike depending on my height,

if you can get a back hammer fist in,

if I can close in for a kick to the groin.

And if I have to close in

and continue to defend myself from here,

there are even more options

like having to render him unconscious if needed.

It all depends in this scenario that you're in,

but the priority is to disrupt the attack

and escape as quickly as possible.

And one more time.

[sharp striking]

And that's how you get out of a choke hold.

From the martialarts subreddit,

eye pokes, are they effective or just escalation?

The eyes are very vulnerable

and targeting them can be very effective,

but you have to understand that

when you're going after the eyes,

they are considered a higher use of force

because they can cause permanent damage.

Targeting the eyes can escalate a situation very quickly.

So this is definitely more of a last resort tactic to use.

Nyflow_, I want to learn how to overcome the freeze response

in an emergency situation.

So the freeze response is a normal survival reaction,

but what we do in self-defense is we train

what's called a pre-planned disruptor move.

So this can be something as simple as stepping offline

or getting into your survival stance

because movement is going to break

the freeze and the hesitation,

not trying to think your way out of it faster.

The question here is,

when is it time to physically defend yourself?

Self-defense is always a last resort,

and I follow a response progression

of avoid, diffuse and defend.

I first try to avoid the situation.

If I can escape, I'm out of there.

If I can, I try to diffuse the situation.

And if I cannot diffuse the situation,

I am ready to defend myself as a last resort.

But when the threat stops, you stop too.

KKgray00, what is the best personal safety app?

A great safety app is one

that lets you share your live location

and reach out to emergency contacts

and emergency services with minimal taps.

It's also important to not rely on tech to save you.

Technology is about giving you options,

but you have to rely on yourself as your last resort.

So personal alarms, it has to be ready to use,

it has to be loud enough.

The objective is to disrupt the attack

with a lot of noise and draw attention to yourself.

That noise alone can you know, disrupt the attacker

and make him flee.

It also draws attention to you

creating accountability for the attacker

and that alone might make you not worth the risk anymore.

And in a split second decision,

you definitely wanna know what your strategy is

when you're getting attacked.

So if you have multiple survival tools on you,

you have to know which one is your go-to

or you're fumbling and wasting time

could actually be more dangerous.

ElSancho0093, any tips on deescalating a situation

and avoiding a fight.

When it comes to diffusing and deescalating an attack,

for some people this might be letting go of their ego.

For others it might be overcoming social conditioning,

for example, choosing their own safety over being polite.

But when you're actively trying to deescalate a situation,

you wanna protect your space and distance.

What I recommend is,

of course, not getting into like a full survival stance.

What I actually do is

what's called a hidden survival stance.

Alright, so here's how I do my hidden survival stance,

because when I'm trying to deescalate a situation,

I don't wanna show that I'm ready to fight,

but mentally and physically,

I am getting ready and it looks like this.

I drive one foot back, so I'm ready

in kind of half of a survival stance,

and my hands are coming up

and there's central in case I have to do anything.

I'm verbally trying to deescalate the situation

and calm the person down.

But mentally my survival mindset is on

and I'm ready to go into action if I need to.

Okay, I'm trying to calm the person down,

I'm trying to deescalate.

Instead of getting into a fight stance

and it's telling them like, Hey, I'm ready to fight.

For example, if they're harassing me

and they're ready to grab me, I can even,

you know, leverage element surprise for a groin strike.

And that might give me the advantage to escape quickly.

So again, it's all based on situation.

You have to train these concepts so that you can just react

and adapt to what's being shown in front of you

in the moment.

I highly recommend this because if you do have to,

you know, go into action to defend yourself,

then you're also able to leverage

what's called the element of surprise

and hopefully get that advantage towards your safety.

If you're getting attacked,

you have a legal right to defend yourself.

But once the threat is no longer active,

you're no longer active as well.

Because if you continue striking

or you know going after someone,

you take yourself from a defender

to an aggressor legally potentially.

So you have to be very mindful of the situation

and stop when the threat stops.

Anon_non_nom,

what's your tried and tested way to get rid of a creep?

If you're being targeted by anybody,

you always wanna go to that avoid, diffuse, defend protocol.

When it comes to avoiding,

the goal is to try to have them move on.

So say that you're at a bar or they're approaching you

or they're harassing you or not being respectful,

this is where that verbal self-defense comes in.

For example, if they say, Hey, are you alone?

You never admit that you're alone.

You can say no, someone is coming any minute now.

If you try to diffuse the situation

and they're ignoring you,

you can always escalate your response

by getting help or even causing a scene.

And again, drawing attention to yourself

is what's going to create accountability for that person.

That might just be enough for them to move on.

But if it continues to escalate, you know,

you might have to get up and leave

or even physically defend yourself

if they continue to target you.

But it's very important that once you notice

that someone targeted you,

that you're always aware of where they are.

And just because they might leave the establishment

that you're in, you have to be on high alert like

when you're going home

because they just might be waiting for a better opportunity

to catch you off guard.

And as I always say, if you see something, say something

because we have to work together as a community

to keep each other safe.

For example, going to the police station

and filing a report,

because that report can be what helps save another person

in the future.

This Quora user is saying,

what are some of the best self-defense tips

for domestic violence?

My father and brother hit me. How do I protect myself?

I wanna start by saying, I'm so sorry

for what you have gone through or are going through.

And I hope that right now as I'm reading this,

you are in a safe location.

There is absolutely no excuse

for domestic abuse or violence,

and you have to prioritize your safety.

If you can get to a safe location

and reach out to a trusted person, that is very important.

And if you can also document anything safely, do that.

There are also great helplines

that can help you navigate your options.

If you can, of course, go to the authorities

and seek a protective order.

And I just wanna say that if you're in this situation,

you are not alone and there are great options

and organizations that are there to help you.

This is a question from Quora.

What self-defense moves actually work

when someone threatens you with a weapon?

When you're defending yourself against a weapon,

you have to understand that this is extremely high risk

and you have to do everything possible to escape first.

If you have to defend yourself,

for example, if you have a gun being pointed at you,

I am redirecting the line of fire away from you

while going to control the weapon and the arm

and disrupting the attacker and then disarm.

But if you can escape, for example,

after disrupting the attacker, then do so.

Another example with an edged weapon,

the first phase is to redirect the blade away from you,

control the arm holding the blade,

disrupt the attacker, and then disarm.

There's also the risk that that weapon can be let go of,

it can go flying,

and you have to factor that into your training.

Do you escape first?

Do you have to deal with your attacker first?

Do you have to jump for the weapon first?

All of this stuff has to be factored into training,

and there's a very high chance

that you are going to get injured.

But the goal is to try to protect your vital areas,

and again, just get to safety as quickly as possible.

This is a question from Quora.

If someone is robbing you,

should you toss your wallet and run the other way?

So if somebody is robbing you, give them what they want

because your life is worth more than any material object.

But when you're doing this, try to be tactical

and prioritize your safety.

If you see the opportunity to escape to a safe location

and you feel in that moment

that throwing your wallet is going to help give you

more time to get there safely, then yes, that can work.

But as you're doing this,

be ready mentally and physically to defend yourself

because situations like this can escalate very quickly.

A Quora user is asking,

how important is it to trust your instincts

when it comes to personal safety?

I always say that your instincts and your intuition

is like your internal alarm system going off.

And it's so important to listen to it,

but it's very difficult for people to do

because of factors like social conditioning or hesitation.

But when you decide that your life

and your dreams are worth defending,

that is when you start to prioritize your safety

and make your safety a non-negotiable.

A very common example that I hear is when a woman

feels the need to be polite,

but she uses that pressure to override her instincts

to leave the situation and get to safety.

So when you train self-defense

and you start to really strengthen that signal

and listening to your instincts,

that's what's gonna help you prioritize your safety

over any pressure that you're dealing with

in a dangerous situation.

This is it for today.

I hope that this information is already helping,

making you a hard target.

Thanks for watching Self Defense support.

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