Ms. Rachel Answers Parenting Questions

You do not have to be Elsa for three hours.

I've tried it.

It's really too hard.

Hi, I'm Ms. Rachel,

early childhood educator and children's TV maker.

I am here to answer your questions from the internet.

This is Ms. Rachel's support.

[upbeat music]

This question is from Quora:

Why do kids seem to love singing repetitive songs,

even when it annoys everyone around them?

Is there science behind it?

Repetitive songs are great for kids

because kids need repetition to learn.

And songs with gestures are so great for kids

because imitation is a building block of speech.

So Wheels on the Bus is so genius for kids

in so many ways because you're doing the motions,

which are great for their brain.

You're doing fun sounds,

which don't have pressure with speech,

like going, Beep, beep, beep,

and that's fun.

It has that repetition that helps with language.

It's such a great song for kids.

I know it's annoying, but I'm sorry,

I'm going to tell you it's great for them. [laughs]

I love this.

It's Daniel Tiger conspiracy.

Positive_Crest_8950 says,

When Ms. Rachel's kids act up,

what does she put on the TV?

Our pediatrician said,

There's no rules for screen time

when the child is sick or flying.

And that checks out.

I like it. I agree.

When we were on a plane with Susie,

we tried to do the Ms. Rachel Mr. Aron live show.

We were doing everything we could.

We were doing the Icky Sticky Bubblegum,

and she would not stop screaming.

And, you know, I'm thinking about the people around us,

and we put on Ms. Rachel, and she was like,

Yes, that's what I wanted.

I wanted you on the screen.

So even I, as Miss Rachel,

couldn't get my child to calm down

on the plane without screen Ms. Rachel.

And I have gone up to a child

and tried to sing Old MacDonald

while they're watching me on the screen,

and they were like,

Can you please let Ms. Rachel continue

and not sing 'Old MacDonald' right now?

And I was like, But I'm the real Ms. Rachel.

But I was in stretch pants,

and I had crazy mom hair,

and they were just like, You're not Ms. Rachel.

You're a greasy human.

IAmMuna: Potty training mamas,

I need tips, tricks, hacks,

anything that will help me with potty training.

I need to get this almost three-year-old

out of diapers pronto.

If you feel comfortable,

have your child watch your potty routine

and just know, Hey, everybody uses a potty.

Read books about the potty.

Watch shows that show potty training.

You want to make it so normal and comfortable

that people go to the bathroom.

I think it's wonderful to start

with trying the going to the bathroom

and being proud to be the reward.

If that doesn't work, I think, like, hey,

a dance party or, like, a high five.

If that doesn't work, you know what?

Get out an M&M.

And sometimes you just need a treat.

I need treats, so it's okay.

Athnorian1 says,

It's okay to hate playing with my toddler, right?

Playing with a toddler can be boring and repetitive,

and it's okay that you feel this way.

No judgment.

We all have different gifts as parents.

I hate cooking, and I do microwave chicken nuggets a lot.

And I can do the creative play.

So maybe you love cooking,

and you involve your toddler in your cooking.

Maybe you like going outside and playing on the playground.

Maybe you like playing soccer with them.

Maybe you do art.

I think, for 10 minutes a day, that's a good goal

to follow your child's leads

and just immerse yourself in their world.

But you do not have to be Elsa for three hours.

I've tried it.

It's really too hard.

Emmexgimme Can we be real for a sec?

How much screen time do you let your toddlers have?

I think that you need to do what's best for your family

and leave behind the shame and the judgment.

I do think kids need balance.

It's wonderful if they can get outside,

go to a class at the library, have some reading.

But let's be real.

Sometimes you're exhausted,

and you need a little break and to do the dishes.

I remember, with Thomas, I was like,

He's screaming.

I think I'm going to put on Elmo and do the dishes.

And it was okay.

I grew up watching a lot of PBS KIDS.

I had a single mom

who was working a few jobs and going back to school.

Some of us are in that situation,

and we use screen time as a tool, and it's okay.

Official_William_Murray says,

I feel like I owe Ms. Rachel child support

at this point. [laughs]

That's really cute and sweet,

and it makes me so happy

that you feel like I have been helpful

because I've needed to call in my co-parent Elmo at times,

and I've really appreciated him.

I am so okay.

IJ says,

I need help.

I'm introducing my toddlers

to identifying and writing letters and numbers.

How do I make it fun?

Why is it so frustrating?

Help me.

So your toddler doesn't really need to focus

on letters and numbers,

especially in an academic drilling way,

but you can make letters out of Play-Doh.

You can draw in sand.

You can have foam bath letters and be like,

Oh, here comes the A, a, a, a, ah.

You can make it fun and just have letters be part of life.

Let's go on a letter hunt

and find things that begin with a letter S,

but your child's not expected to know all the letters.

Yabbadabbadoozey05.

Hey, I am 43, so I know this.

This is from The Flintstones.

That's really cool.

What's the deal with sensory bins?

They're awesome.

They're messy.

Sensory bins outside: amazing.

Kids love to explore.

Have you ever been doing a sensory bin,

and your toddler walks away, and you're still enjoying it?

That's happened to me.

Or I'm, like, doing Play-Doh,

and I'm just, like, enjoying the Play-Doh or the slime,

and I'm like, This is soothing.

I think doing things like that,

they can get really creative.

You can have animals that you're rescuing.

That's super fun.

You can find letters in sensory bins.

Oh, all the letters are lost.

They can't...

They're lost in the rice.

We have to get them out.

Kcnjo asked,

Anyone else with a speech delay kiddo feel defeated?

I felt the same way.

I felt defeated,

and I felt like, man, as a teacher,

why can't I help my child with a speech delay?

And it's not your fault.

Make sure to know that your child

is wonderful the way they are,

whether they're talking or not,

and you don't need to compare.

You do need to talk to your doctor

and get early intervention

so you can have that support.

Gasstationfitted says,

Big, intricate, dangerous fun

the way playground should be.

And then there's a picture

of a really cool-looking playground.

So, yeah, risky play is actually good for kids.

And when I mean risky play,

I'm saying, like, climbing high and figuring out

how something feels on the playground because, actually,

when playgrounds are too little and boring,

kids will find actual dangerous things to do,

like jumping off the roof.

So it is good for kids

to climb high and go down a slide

that might feel really big for several reasons.

It helps them feel confident.

It helps them assess risk,

and they can apply that to other things.

It's good for them.

So something I'm working on in my parenting

is not to say, Be careful, too much.

I find myself wanting to say, Be careful,

but instead I can say things like,

Where are you going to put your foot next?

or, How does your body feel doing that?

I am an anxious person,

but it's good if I cannot make my kid like that.

Also, if you think your kid needs help on the playground,

try waiting a few beats

and seeing if they figure it out.

You don't always have to, like, come to their rescue.

You can just see, like,

Hmm, are they going to figure this out?

Give them a little time.

Okay, Wide-Performer9222:

If your child could learn one skill

that school doesn't teach, what would it be?

I think to love themselves

because it's really important that we love ourselves.

I think the Golden Rule:

Treat others how you want to be treated.

And I really like Selena Gomez

wants to do mental health curriculum.

I think there should be mental health curriculum

starting in pre-K.

I think kids need to learn about mental health

and then, as they get older,

learn about things like OCD, like I have.

It would've been great to learn that it was a thing

and know how to get treatment.

So I love that.

Digital_Pratik asks,

Why do we talk to babies in a high-pitched voice,

even when they clearly don't understand us?

So this high pitch and elongated vowels,

like, Hello, with enthusiasm and slowed down,

this is actually used across the world naturally

because babies respond to it.

Babies actually do understand us long before they can talk.

They are decoding language.

They're assessing our emotions.

So it's so important to talk to your baby.

Narrate your day.

ChutPagalhoon asks,

Why do children's educational content

feel so repetitive and unstimulating to adults?

Well, children need repetition to learn.

They need things to be slowed down,

and you are a grownup, and you already know your ABCs,

so it is sometimes hard to watch.

We try and put in jokes for the adults

and make it fun, though.

It-is-my-cake-day:

How come kids are able to listen better when it's sung

versus told to them normally in a sentence?

I think singing's fun,

and I think sometimes you don't even have to sing.

You just make it fun, like,

Hey, let's hop like frogs to go brush our teeth,

or, Let's be race cars

and race to our room to pick out our pajamas.

They just like play.

So songs do make things fun, like,

♪ This Is the way we brush our hair, ♪

♪ Brush our hair brush our hair ♪

This is from Quora:

Do toddlers actually prefer routine,

or do parents create routines mostly for their own sanity?

Routines are great for babies and toddlers.

They like predictability.

It makes them feel safe and confident,

and routines are great, but don't stress.

Sometimes the routine goes wrong,

and it's just a crazy day, and that's okay.

Ulteriorkid324 asks,

My baby cries every time I leave the room.

Do they think I disappear each time?

So, up until eight months,

your child doesn't know about object permanence.

Say this is you, and you go out of the room.

They're like, Does my mom exist anymore?

They're out of the room.

But when they get past eight months, they know you exist,

but you go out of the room,

and they don't have a great concept of time.

So they're like, When is my mom going to come back?

You can actually sing a song

and then walk out of the room and still keep singing it,

so they still hear your voice

and know you're still there.

And it's totally normal.

Sounds like your baby really loves you.

ELI5 says, Why is it so important for little kids

to be able to color inside the lines?

So, actually, it's not important

for little, little kids to color inside the lines.

They really don't learn that until they're four or five,

so don't even worry about that.

We do want little kids to work on their fine motor skills,

and we can do that through Play-Doh,

through using tongs, through building with blocks.

Ayoluks says,

How does Ms. Rachel have this much pull over babies?

I hope it's because they feel that I love them

and that I care about them.

And I think they can feel that through the screen.

They also like my high voice.

Let's be real.

Soggy_War_9907 asks,

Is it okay to let kids get bored sometimes?

Not only is it okay, it's good for kids to be bored.

Remember back in the '90s

when we just watched glue dry on our hands?

When they're bored,

they often come up with creative ideas,

and maybe they are kind of frustrated

when they're bored,

and it's okay to sit with those feelings.

And, actually, I just said to my children the other day,

Life can be boring, and it's okay.

You can be bored.

Grimmphen says,

I grew up with 'Mister Rogers' and 'Sesame Street.'

Same as so many others.

Why, then, is being kind such a hot take?

That's a great question.

And you know what?

Being kind is strong, and Mister Rogers said,

Real strength is helping others.

And I really believe that.

I think we have the wrong definition

sometimes of these things.

And I think empathy is brave and beautiful and awesome.

Friends, what did we learn today?

We learned that I can't cook,

and I make a lot of chicken nuggets.

We learned that Play-Doh is fun and a lot of other things.

And that's all the questions for today.

Thank you so much for watching.

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